Downplaying Abuse

The after the arrest, Emma Roberts cries in battered boyfriend's arms

Only July 7th, 2013, Emma Roberts (niece of Julia) was taken into custody for beating up her boyfriend. The boyfriend, Evan Peters, was found with a bloody nose and alleged bite marks. Not long after, Emma Roberts publicists went into overdrive downplaying the incident.

“It was an unfortunate incident and misunderstanding,” Emma’s reps told Entertainment Tonight.

“Ms Roberts was released after questioning and the couple are working together to move past it.”

This was not an unfortunate incident or a misunderstanding. Bite marks and a bloody nose? That’s pretty brutal.

This is not something that can be “worked past.” This is something that will only get worse. Usually in abusive relationships, violence and abuse escalate over time. Her publicists attempt to play it off as a random and unfortunate incident is pretty weak.  The fact that the abuse was so severe- that she punched him in the face- says that the escalation of violence in this relationship has already reached a very dangerous level. You can bet money on it that this is not the first time nor will it be the last.

Most incidents of domestic violence are not reported and this one wouldn’t have been reported if someone in a neighboring hotel room hadn’t called it in. The press got a picture of Emma the next morning sobbing in her boyfriend’s arms. Is she crying because she’s sorry she hurt her boyfriend? Or is she’s crying because she got caught?

“Emma is very dramatic,” one source said. “They will not break up. When they are good, they are crazy in love.” When they are good? And when they are bad she unleashes her inner Chris Brown?

The way sources and her publicists tried to downplay this incident is scary. This person needs some serious help, though it is pretty unlikely that help would actually help. Abusers don’t reform. In fact, there are literally no statistics regarding such a thing. None. Nada. The best bet here would be for the boyfriend to leave, but he likely won’t do that either (they are still together after the incident became public). It usually takes a victim seven attempts to leave before they step away from an abusive relationship for good. Seven times! From what I’ve seen, I suspect it is an even higher number than seven…

It’s horrible that her publicists are downplaying this abuse. Domestic violence is typically “downplayed” by the abuser to begin with. Outside sources doing the same only enable and uphold the violent behavior. There is a lot of secrecy and brainwashing involved in an abusive relationship. Often the victim does not realize they are being abused because the hierarchy of the relationship is a tyranny in where he or she is being brainwashed and oppressed by the abuser.

Abusers are so sly that when confronted or questioned by the victim the abuser minimizes and denies his or her actions. This is a term referred to as “crazy making” where an abuser will flat out deny an action that the victim knows happened. As ridiculous as it sounds, crazy making confuses the already disoriented victim more causing he or she to question his or her own sanity. The confusion and belief in the abusers minimizing, crazy making and lies happens because there are usually no witnesses. Abusers are cagey like that and can be extremely charming and nice around the victim’s friends and relatives. So nice that sometimes the family doesn’t believe the victim or downplays the victims role as a victim— maybe they are over reacting or being too sensitive…

What do you think? Do you think it’s wrong that the publicists are downplaying this incident?

2 Comments

Filed under Domestic Violence, relationships

2 Responses to Downplaying Abuse

  1. Jeanette

    They both need counseling . Why does she do it and why does he allow her to ? Of course, the publicist will try and downplay the event. Nobody will believe it. I’d rather have him say this is
    a private matter and they are working it out.

  2. Paul Roese

    i just don’t get this kind of thing. i remember when i was going to move in with a woman for the first time. she wanted me to but also made very clear if i ever even made the motion of raising my hand to her we would be through. i was surprised since we had been dating awhile and i though she knew me better than that. i assured her i would never due such a thing and never did but it made me wonder what kind of relationships she had been in but she didn’t want to talk about it. i have been very angry and had bad fights with lovers but it never ever entered my head to strike them. always like Asimov’s quote ” violence is the refuge of the incompetent.”

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