Category Archives: Friendship

The Love Lives of Friends

 

Friends-tv-show-2

I have a variety of friends. Friends from different countries. Friends with different values. Friends from many cultures. They are all very unique, but what is even more unique is their love lives. One of my friends is polyamorous- have you ever heard of this? I didn’t until she told me about it. Polyamory is the practice of keeping several lovers at once; having several intimate relationships going on at the same time, and being completely honest about it to everyone involved. I could never do this. I don’t like to share…my men. I also wouldn’t really have an interest in sleeping with several people at once. It’s just not my thing.

Another friend of mine recently suggested I get a few “fuck buddies.” This made me wonder if he ever listens to anything I say or reads any of my blogs. I have had enough meaningless relationships to last a few lifetimes, I’m not about to begin participation in meaningless sex as well. He is cool with this idea and has several “fuck buddies” himself. A lot of guys and girls would probably appreciate this type of no strings attached arrangement, I am however, looking for someone who feels quite the opposite.

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I Flunked Self-Esteem Class

Today I flunked out of self-esteem class. And no. I’m not joking.

“I just don’t think I can get through to you. Don’t take it personally, but here’s a list of other therapists that might be a better fit. It was nice meeting you.” Are you serious? Good thing I didn’t take it personally- that would’ve been very detrimental to my self-esteem.

Upon hearing of my expulsion from self-esteem class, my other counselor -the one who recommended me for self-esteem classes- subtly asked me not to come back. I told her what he’d said and how I was confused as to what he meant by he couldn’t get through to me. I am not a child. I didn’t misbehave. I took the class seriously. As we conversed and continued to talk about other things she seemed to become very irritated with me.

 


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Filed under Dating, Domestic Violence, Friendship, Fun, Growth, Healing, Heart, Inspirational, Life Lessons, Motivation, Passion, relationships

Rescue Animal of the Week on The Veggie Stand

At The Veggie Stand, we’re creating a new weekly feature “Rescue Animal of the Week.” If you (or any of your friends) would like your pet to be our next Rescue Animal of the Week, please provide us with the following information by emailing it to me at HRH@TheVeggieStand.com

A picture of your pet

Your pet’s name

Your name, city and state

Where did your pet come from?

How did you come to adopt/ rescue your animal?

And anything else you would like us to include about your animal.

Come back on Monday to meet our first Rescue Animal of the Week, Kya, a Yorkshire terrier from Vancouver, Washington!

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Filed under Animal Rights, Friendship, Healing, Heart, Inspirational, News

You Could Be My Silver Springs?

  Silver Springs? Hayley Rose 2011

 

Have you ever been exhausted from dating? I have! At first it felt great- to have so many dates lined up with men that seemed decent, were often cute, and successful too! And even better, they wanted to go out with me! Ah, naivety, it never goes away does it?

What ended up happening during this time in my life was much more bleak than the excitement I just exhibited (surprise, surprise). One lying man-child, two pretentious professionals, a normal guy, and a drug addict. Let’s start with the lying man-child who barely put effort into our dates. On the second date, we met at a sports bar, he showed up as if it was Super Casual Friday wearing track pants a purple T-shirt! Ugh. Then the professionals. We never made it to a second date. The first, a doctor, talked about himself the entire night and barely made eye contact with me. Then when he walked me to my truck, he tried to kiss me! He was extremely pissed when I didn’t let him. Then there was the lawyer, who also happened to be in love with himself but was considerate enough to ask questions about me, occasionally. He abruptly stood up while we were having coffee and cited that he had to get up early the next morning for work. Right. I didn’t feel bad, he was an atheist, I always question their motives. I feel like they are not so much non-believers as they are individuals who are angry at God for something and retaliate by denying his existence. Then there was the normal guy. We still talk, meet for coffee, and go for hikes together. We have become friends and have great conversations about all sorts of things like Native American spirituality and nature. Now for the drug addict, here’s where the story gets interesting.

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Filed under Addiction, Friendship, Heart, Life Lessons, Love, relationships

Is Honesty Really the Best Policy?

Well it all depends what you are trying to accomplish. If you are looking to forge meaningful friendships and relationships than yes, it is. If you prefer to dodge real connections and fear vulnerability, then no it isn’t. Let me explain.

When you are honest it is very easy for you to spot dishonesty. On the contrary, when you are dishonest, the lines become blurred and it’s more difficult to spot lies. Since I began writing and sharing some of the most painful and humiliating memories, many people have contacted me to thank me for expressing what they could not say. Don’t you sometimes find that when you leave yourself open and vulnerable and say what is truly on your mind, those around you nod in agreement?

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Embrace Your Failures

I remember a while back when one of my friends broke up with his girlfriend. He was really upset. At the time I had just broke up with some one as well. I told him to think about how he was feeling -right at that moment- and to embrace all the pain, because that is what it is to be human. I told him to think about how human he felt at that moment and acknowledge those negative emotions. Feeling the feelings and consciously processing them would inevitably allow him to move past them rather than if he ignored them or refused to face them.

Once we have surrendered ourself to acceptance of failure- that there is no getting (or getting back) what we want, all we are left with is feelings of pain and disappointment. This is what many self-help writers refer to as “growing pains.” During our biggest disappointments and our most painful moments we are provided with unlimited potential for the growth and strengthening of our spirit. On the other hand, some people view failure and pain as the only lens through which we would be able to appreciate the good things in our life; that we wouldn’t appreciate the good if we didn’t have the bad.

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Hey, Jealousy!

“Hayley, when are you going to get a real job?”

Last week someone who claims to be my friend, asked me this. It’s funny how the people who end up in your friend or family circles take the liberty to be such assholes once they think they’ve secured a spot.

“Hayley, when are you going to get a real job?”

Happens to be one sentence you should probably never say to my face; though I’ve heard it countless times. The comment does not anger me because of the implication- that my job is lesser than other people’s. I am secure with my life’s decisions- aka my choice to not have a “real job.” The comment only angered me for only one reason- because this was not the first person that said it to me.

“Hayley, when are you going to get a real job?”

Never. That’s when. But it’s not that simple. I didn’t think to say that at the time. I was, of course, off put by the rudeness and insensitivity of his words, especially since I always treated him with respect and kindness. Never would I drag his job through the mud the way they tore apart mine.

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Hey, Jealousy!

“Hayley, when are you going to get a real job?”

 Last week someone who claims to be my friend, asked me this. It’s funny how the people who end up in your friend or family circles take the liberty to be such assholes once they think they’ve secured a spot.

“Hayley, when are you going to get a real job?”

Happens to be one sentence you should probably never say to my face; though I’ve heard it countless times. The comment does not anger me because of the implication- that my job is lesser than other people’s. I am secure with my life’s decisions- aka my choice to not have a “real job.” The comment only angered me for only one reason- because this was not the first person that said it to me.

“Hayley, when are you going to get a real job?”

Never. That’s when. But it’s not that simple. I didn’t think to say that at the time. I was, of course, off put by the rudeness and insensitivity of his words, especially since I always treated him with respect and kindness. Never would I drag his job through the mud the way they tore apart mine.

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On Marriage and Weddings: Part One

The idea of living in a house, a place where I will likely be for a few decades with a man I am legally obligated to has never been my idea of happiness. It would likely evolve into the tragedy that was the movie “Revolutionary Road.”

In movies and in life, I know the boys always feel like they’re losing their buddy, whenever one of their friends get married, while women seem to rejoice and celebrate the event. All I know is that I have lost more friends to weddings than to traffic accidents, alcohol, or anything else for that matter. As I watch my friends lives change outwardly, families pulsating and growing, finances ebbing and flowing, I have remained outwardly one of the most static characters in my own life. On the inside I have changed but haven’t coupled up or even had the desire for children.

I’ve had a lot of time to think about weddings, in between going to them. I know if I got married and there was even a handful of people as unenthusiastic as myself sitting in the audience I would consider elopement. Why must we all attend these events? I know they need witnesses and maybe a wedding is a means to prove something to the other person- professing your love in front of a large audience and all.

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The People You Meet While Working in a Nursing Home

Years ago I worked as a receptionist for slave wages at a local nursing home. For the most part, I had nothing in common with anyone. I made a few friends in the office. They were great people but were all familied and coupled up, much older than me, and we remained nothing more than work friends. The office workers were friendly for the most part but pretty miserable when it came to their jobs. I couldn’t blame them. After the billing department wrestled my yearly raise of 35 cents per hour down to 25 cents, and then the following year from 35 cents to 15, I couldn’t imagine how they’d been treated over the years.

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