Tattoos

He was perfect, well almost. I met him online. He was a big guy, 250 lbs of solid muscle and taller than me (for once). Arms. I have a thing for men’s arms, muscular ones. I find them attractive. His arms were huge. His biceps were easily larger than my thighs and his forearms were easily bigger than my calves. He actually called me a lot too, as in -instead of texting- and he even seemed interested at first. Then he added me to his Facebook. Those beautiful arms of his were not what I had seen in his pictures on the dating site. Now that I was privileged to the information on his Facebook, I saw that both his arms were tatted up with full sleeves!

In the past, I always found tattoos on guys to be sexy but two full sleeves? Not really my style… We went out to dinner where I was able to see them close up.

“Are those dinosaurs?” I asked examining the various illustrations on his arms.

“Dragons,” he promptly corrected me.

“Oh.”

He could call them whatever he wanted. They looked like dinosaurs to me and the thought of this big tough guy tattooing a family of blue and purple dinosaurs on his arms made me giggle. I tried to be respectful and bit my lip.

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Filed under Dating, Journal, relationships

I Know Why They Call a Shell a Shell soon to be on Paperback? And on Oprah’s Book Club 2.0?

 

Ok so I know one of the two above statements to be a fact- the other to be my clever attempt at using “the law of attraction.” If you haven’t yet checked out my new book, I Know Why They Call a Shell a Shell , make sure you check it out! Or if you prefer paper- it will soon be coming out on paperback (and then hopefully to Oprah’s Book Club 2.0 it goes!).  Or maybe it will become a Kindle Single?? The sky is the limit! Wish me luck! XO

Hayley

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Suicide- The Failsafe

I have been up for hours and am exhausted before the clock strikes eight. I eye the sink full of dirty items while the dishwasher lies four inches to the left. The house is silent and soon I know the air will be filled with anger.

 Walking outside I water the recently planted hydrangeas, knowing full well once I leave they will die, much like the limited peace that lies between the walls. I have come to think the house is cursed but then realize that things were like this before anyone moved into this home. Years of anger still scream through the roof and the house wants me back – but I will never grant the inner walls their wish.
 The large dog sits with me on the swing and cuddles next to me. He knows I will soon leave and his life will become empty again. My heart cries for him but it is either his life or mine and there is no other solution.

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Are You Closed Hearted?

After watching one too many Good Morning America interviews, my mother came to the conclusion “Hayley, you’re just like Taylor Swift.” Outright sounded like a compliment as Taylor Swift is pretty, talented and rich, but it wasn’t. She meant that I was just like Taylor Swift in the sense that I too keep getting my heart broken and dumped by guys though, like Taylor Swift, I too am somewhat talented and successful (on a much smaller scale of course 😉 ). The similarities are endless because like Taylor Swift, my “art” is inspired by my life. What would I write about if I didn’t have so many dating horror stories? And why do people like me and Taylor Swift keep getting dumped? The answer lies within the heart chakra.

heart chakra

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Filed under Healing, Heart, Life Lessons, Love, Passion, relationships

The Graveyard

 

 

In the woods near my house are foundations; stone and mortar buildings that are over 200 years old. One sits directly across the street from me. I pass by it every day but it is not the only one. There are at least twenty or thirty of these old houses from the original Farmingbury settlement. I could go on to tell you some classic New England ghost stories: some of the strange encounters I experienced while growing up here, but you might think I’m lying (or crazy) and I’m not sure which misconception would be worse.

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Mediocre Expectations

Miss Havisham... Oh God, is this going to be me in five years?

I have been known to get drunk and brag to guys that my IQ was in the 95th percentile. Why? I have no idea. Needless to say, they weren’t impressed. Which brings me to the next installment of my book reviews- or as I like to call it, “Literature from Hell Part Three: Charles Dickens’ Great Expectations.

The first time I read this book, I was in high school. Well… now that I think about it, my previous statement is actually a half truth. I didn’t read it so much as I stared at the page until class was over. I brought the book home and still couldn’t focus on it. Who would name a child Pip? And who would trust a creepy woman like Miss Havisham with said unfortunate child?  Then there was a second attempt to read it in college, for fun. I didn’t make it past page 30. I even brought it with me on a long flight. In fact, it was the only thing I had to read and still, I couldn’t bear it. Instead I slept.

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The Illusion of Love

Butterflies emerge from the darkness of the cocoon to greet the light and fly.  What a feeling that must be!  There is such a lightness to falling in love and to be uplifted by the attention of another person is an uplifting high full of hope and possibilities.  The reality of Love is that although it will transform you, it can be quite painful.

The evolution of a love affair is a steady progression of acts and communication.  It is like when a woman gives birth to a baby; she sees the power of existence it is overwhelming.  The steady love that can develop over a lifetime between a mother and child is subject to all sorts of challenges.  Life is not static.  It evolves and swirls around us in illusions.

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Filed under Dating, Destiny, Friendship, Heart, Love, relationships, Sex

Relationships After Sexual Assault

Or should I say the “lack of relationships” after sexual assault. Trust is a difficult thing, especially when you’ve fallen victim to a rape. After becoming a victim myself and eventually seeking therapy, I couldn’t trust anyone, not even myself. Can you imagine the feeling of not being able to trust yourself? I am still very mistrustful and fearful. To understand why, I would have to revert back to the crime itself along with some common misconceptions.

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Filed under Domestic Violence, Healing, relationships, Sexual Assault

The Importance of Choice

After being raped by two men when I was just fifteen years old, I understand the value of choice. Maybe that’s because I never had one. The trauma I experienced reminds me of the abortion ban Mississippi law makers are pushing through their state legislature. Had I become pregnant as a result of those rapes, there is no doubt in my mind that I would’ve aborted the fetus.

For most of those (pro-lifers) leaning towards the anti-choice stance, rape and incest are often the two exceptions to the rule, when it comes to the outlawing abortions. Who gives them the right to put stipulations on other people’s decisions? Who gives them the right to take away my choice? Maybe one has to have the option of choice taken away before he or she can fully understand it’s value.

Mississippi lawmakers are close to successfully banning abortion from their state. Only one abortion clinic remains and lawmakers are looking forward to putting this last remaining clinic out of business as well. How did they block it? A new bill has stacked the deck against medical doctors by adding extra stipulations, not typically required for the typical licensure to perform abortion procedures.

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News

Happy Friday!

Check out my new article on HuffPost World:

Check out this appalling story about how two dolphins OD’d on heroine when the responsible staff at the zoo that held them captive hosted a rave. Just another reason I HATE zoos!!! Follow this link for the full story…

Here’s an uplifting video of a baby seal being released back into the wild. Click here

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