When all else fails and your family and friends are out of suggestions, there is always Google. I’m not gonna lie. Throughout my life when I’m alone and confused, I type random things into Google such as, “What should I do with my life?” Then I spend the next hour or two scouring through the suggestions reaped by the trusty search engine.
Recently, I found myself on Google doing some research. I was having a particularly bad night and typed in the following: I need a miracle. To my surprise, I immediately found several websites that offered to pray for miracles for free! “Need a miracle?” one site rhetorically begs the question. Though some of the webpages asked for donations, most did not. Most of the sites happily obliged prayer requests without any mention of monetary compensation. Just check out Prayers Online.net. This page simply asks that you spread the word about their site so that others may find them and request miracles too.
Today I flunked out of self-esteem class. And no. I’m not joking.
“I just don’t think I can get through to you. Don’t take it personally, but here’s a list of other therapists that might be a better fit. It was nice meeting you.” Are you serious? Good thing I didn’t take it personally- that would’ve been very detrimental to my self-esteem.
Upon hearing of my expulsion from self-esteem class, my other counselor -the one who recommended me for self-esteem classes- subtly asked me not to come back. I told her what he’d said and how I was confused as to what he meant by he couldn’t get through to me. I am not a child. I didn’t misbehave. I took the class seriously. As we conversed and continued to talk about other things she seemed to become very irritated with me.
Filed under Dating, Domestic Violence, Friendship, Fun, Growth, Healing, Heart, Inspirational, Life Lessons, Motivation, Passion, relationships
Good Afternoon Everyone!
If you haven’t yet read my article “Forgiving My Rapist,” please check it out at The Huffington Post. The article is not just about finding the strength to forgive one of the people who messed up my life but more so about the courage and strength it takes to stop blaming and forgive yourself. This is an article that anyone can relate to- rape victims or not.
Forgiving My Rapist
I received a tweet from a reader in regards to my article“Confronting My Rapist.”
The tweet states,
“I read your article about facing your rapist. You are a better woman than me, I couldn’t have acted so politely and diligently.”
I found the tweet to be extremely thought-provoking. Though I responded to my rapist with expletives and warnings to never bother me again, it was through email and not in person. By the sound of my reader’s tweet, when faced with the same scenario, she might’ve kicked the guy’s butt (or at least cussed him out). This thought made me smile, I can’t say I don’t blame her.
When it comes to my situation, I never really thought about vengeance. I was too caught up in hurting myself and messing up my own life because of the unbearable pain. Thinking about it now, it might feel good to go to his home, smash the windows of his car, and break everything he owns, but would that solve anything? If I destroyed all his belongings he would still be more reparable than how he left me.
Finish Reading the Article here
Filed under Growth, Healing
Does the mid afternoon sunshine cause you to pause and reflect as you watch the particles of dust before you float around in the sun’s rays? I can remember how it suspended my thoughts to this higher consciousness since I was around five years old. I specifically recall one event. My aunt and grandmother would sometimes take me on day trips, often to Stockbridge, Massachusetts. On the drive home, one particular trip, I distinctly remember thinking as the sun shined through the car window and into my face, this is all going to pass before you so quickly and will be gone faster than you can imagine. Then I remember feeling sick to my stomach, that sinking feeling that sometimes lies in truths.
In retrospect, that’s pretty deep for a five-year-old. I knew then that life was fleeting, and that one day I’d be all grown up and that one day my grandmother would die, and that one day everyone else would too. But in that moment, a time when I was far away from death or illness, it felt like death was something that happened to other people, not my relatives. I believed this half heartedly hoping it was true like how older children still believe in Santa Clause, well, kind of, but know he’s a myth. I experienced this feeling of living in a realm of immortality until of course, the day I was woken up by an early morning phone call telling me that my grandmother had cancer, it was that day I could no longer ignore the imminence of death.
Even after she died, and I was in my early twenties, I felt the same sense of immortality. It wasn’t until I sprained my wrist, my first injury ever, that I began to realize how fragile my life was. And of course, there’s nothing like a brush with Death to make you realize how quickly a life could be taken. When I talk about Death, I am not talking about it in the verb form as inthe act of dying. I am literally talking about Death himself, The Grim Reaper.