If you haven’t checked out my article, “Is Honesty Really the Best Policy,” please follow the link below.
Is Honesty Really the Best Policy?
Well it all depends on what you are trying to accomplish. If you are looking to forge meaningful friendships and relationships, then yes it is. If you prefer to dodge real connections and fear vulnerability, then no it isn’t. Let me explain.
When you are honest it is very easy for you to spot dishonesty. On the contrary, when you are dishonest the lines become blurred and it’s difficult to spot lies. Since I began writing and sharing some of my most painful and humiliating memories, many people have contacted me to thank me for expressing what they could not say. Don’t you sometimes find that when you leave yourself open and vulnerable and say what is truly on your mind, those around you nod in agreement?
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My life truly began to change when I started to be completely honest. I started to write about and confront the things that I ignored for years. Publicly I published articles about dealing with sexual assault and healing on the web. The first time my article appeared on online, I felt naked. I started to cry and wondered if I had made a huge mistake. With each consecutive article, I felt equally exposed. This went on for about six months. Each time an article came out, I would cry. My boyfriend at the time asked me why I even bother to do it. He said that maybe I should just stop writing if it was this difficult for me to handle. Though it was difficult, I never considered stopping or quitting. Too many people wrote back to me saying that they felt very alone in their experience before reading my articles. Truth is before reading their comments, I felt very alone in the experience of surviving sexual assault as well.
For years I hid the truth about my life from everyone. I dodged reality and instead hid behind poor relationships, drinking, and substance abuse. No one understood why I was so messed up and always involved in something reckless. The addictions numbed the pain of rape. They also came to the forefront and caused immediate drama and issues that couldn’t be ignored. Perhaps they were the armor I hid the truth behind. With so much negativity going on because of my behavior, I had enough to worry about without delving into and exploring my past. Eventually I found out that you cannot hide the truth from others without also hiding it from yourself.
Denial can kill people. Until I spoke my truth and seeked professional help, the road I went down only got progressively worse. Addictions will kill you eventually. Suppressing trauma can cause unhappiness, depression, and serious illnesses.