Good Afternoon! I would like to announce a few things.
The first is that the print copy of my book “I Know Why They Call a Shell a Shell,” will be coming out soon and I definitely want to do a giveaway/ contest. I will keep you posted on this.
Next, make sure you keep an eye out tomorrow for Linda’s new post, “I Wrote This Because You Loved Me.” The post is a touching and transcendental tribute to her beloved sister.
And finally, today I made my debut in HuffPost Politcswith my piece, “Rush Thinks We’re All Sluts.” Be sure to check it out by following this link! Have a great day everybody, XO
If you haven’t yet read these articles now you can check them out on The Huffington Post
Need a Miracle?
Recently, I found myself on Google doing some “research.” I was having a particularly bad night and typed in the following: “I need a miracle.”
Read the full article here
2011, The Lesson I Learned: Be Proud of Your Failures
Life is difficult sometimes. Is it just me, or is it true that when things feel as if they couldn’t get any worse something (or several somethings) else goes wrong?
Follow the jump to check out the full article
Sexual Assault: Can You Ever Move On?
If your first “sexual” experience is a violent crime, can sex and rape ever be dissociated?
Follow the jump to check out the full article
Everyone is very sad and mourning the slow death of book stores, while video stores too are all but extinct. When I am elderly I will surely be telling tales of going to Blockbuster on a Friday night and browsing the aisles for the perfect weekend flick. “You mean there used to be stores where you would, go to to rent movies?” I can’t exactly imagine what type of movie technology we will have by that time, but I’m pretty sure the idea of going to Blockbuster on a Friday night will sound as alien as the stories my grandmother told me about the man who came around once a week to sell them big brick of ice for their ice box. Or how every other day, a milkman delivered fresh milk in slender glass bottles to her house. Or how each day they used to get two newspapers: one in the morning, the other in the evening. All of it sounds surreal.
I had a weird dream this morning. Aside from the beginning of it, where I was debating whether or not I should try out for American Idol, the rest of the dream was quite unusual. I was the passenger in a car. We drove through a shopping plaza parking lot. The sky was dark but then there was a rainbow that shot across it. My attention was diverted to the people who were walking on the sidewalk. There was something weird about them but at first I couldn’t figure out what it was, I squinted my eyes and looked harder, trying to perceive what it was that registered in my brain as odd-without-explanation, and then it hit me.
Please continue reading the article at The Huffington Post
Gymboree’s discretion last week continues to offend me. If you haven’t heard about it, some moms were in an uproar because the children’s outfitter sold a variety of Onesies in which “Smart like Daddy,” was written on the boy’s version and “Pretty like Mommy” on the girl’s. An article about the Onesies on Salon mentions some of the backlash this controversy created citing one writer’s words, “if we get hysterical over every perceived slight, we won’t get anywhere. Choose your battle, ladies.” The article on the onesies goes on to include a commenter’s response to that statement, “These moms obviously have nothing better to do.”
These moms have nothing better to do? I’ve seen what moms do and they are usually very busy people. I’m sure they have plenty of better things to do than continue to fight this uphill battle in which every step women in the US take in the direction of equality (outnumbering male enrollment in universities, even) are thrown backwards a few steps by petty, yet offensive distractions like this type of children’s-wear. I do not fault the mothers across the US who spoke out, for not wanting their daughters to grow up in a country that continues to force women into the role of sex-object at increasingly younger and younger ages. Is being valued for our intelligence too much for a woman to ask for?
Sometimes when we don’t trust ourselves, we feel very insecure about stepping out into the world to live life. I know I was afraid to go out and be my own person because of the abuse and rape I experienced at a young age. I feared that I, again, wouldn’t be able to protect myself if put in a compromising situation. As a result, I entered into an abusive relationship and subsequently continued this pattern for years. I was attracted to these types of relationships because, on a subconscious level, the aspect of control imposed limits that made me feel “protected” when everything around me felt very out of control. Alone, I felt vulnerable; like I could become a victim again at any time.
Like a textbook abusive relationship, the imposed limitations ended up including a list of things he didn’t want me to do, people he didn’t want me see, and places he didn’t want me to go. Somewhere in my psyche I knew this and permitted it to happen because I felt more insecure out of the relationship than I did in it. Ironically, I ended up existing in this cocoon for several years instead of navigating the world on my own.
Read the rest of the article after the jump.
Flowers Hayley Rose 2009
Often, the most difficult thing in life is being true to yourself. By the time your cognitive development is over you have been bombarded with millions of different ideas; ideas that have shaped your personality by telling you not only what you should be doing but who you should be. Many of these messages come from the people who brought us up, friends and relatives, however; the media and culture play undeniable roles in our world view. From the time you are ready to begin life as an adult you are often in a headspace so far away from your true self that you can no longer identify your passion or dreams. Then life gets you. Responsibilities and bills imperative for survival come to the forefront and things like following your innermost dreams seem like something silly, something you tell yourself you will have time to do later.
It is never too late to follow your dreams, sometimes you just have to do a little back peddling. Your truest self is the self that remains when you stop letting the opinions of others penetrate your mind. The only way you will ever reach your true is by not caring about what others think, and stepping forward with courage. It does not matter what others think, following your dream is divine work; it is between you and God. Continue reading
If you haven’t checked out my article, “Is Honesty Really the Best Policy,” please follow the link below.
Is Honesty Really the Best Policy?
Well it all depends on what you are trying to accomplish. If you are looking to forge meaningful friendships and relationships, then yes it is. If you prefer to dodge real connections and fear vulnerability, then no it isn’t. Let me explain.
When you are honest it is very easy for you to spot dishonesty. On the contrary, when you are dishonest the lines become blurred and it’s difficult to spot lies. Since I began writing and sharing some of my most painful and humiliating memories, many people have contacted me to thank me for expressing what they could not say. Don’t you sometimes find that when you leave yourself open and vulnerable and say what is truly on your mind, those around you nod in agreement?
Read the rest of it here
If you haven’t already, please check out my article, “Are You Your Own Worst Critic?”
Many of us consider ourselves to be our own worst critics and I used to think so, too. I was always so hard on myself to the point of perfectionism. Then one day I began to see things differently. I started to realize that other people’s opinions of me and what they thought I should be doing were so imbedded into my mind that their expectations became stronger than my own wants and needs. I inevitably realized that the self criticism that tortured my mind for years was not in response to my voice. In actuality, it was self-criticism and self-punishment for not living up to expectations of others. Slowly I began to eliminate their opinions.
If you have felt this type of guilt and thought this way, the truth is, you’re not really disappointing anyone through your actions. These people are only disappointed in you (when your actions differ from their vision of what you should be doing) because they are losing control of you. These are not friends, nor are they people you should be taking advice from.
Think back to the things you always beat yourself up over. Do you beat yourself up over failures that caused you disappointment or are you being hard on yourself for not living up to other people’s desires for who you are and who you should be? I guarantee that the majority of failures and things you hold against yourself belong to the latter category.
Read the rest at The Huffington Post feel free to share and comment!!
Hi Everyone! A lot of news this week.
First, I want to thank everyone for responding to my “Finish my sentence” exercise. It went really well, and there were a lot of great responses!
Secondly, my article “The Worst Piece of Advice Ever” was published on The Huffington Post this morning, so please check that out (feel free to share and comment!).
Thirdly, I would like to connect with some more peeps on Twitter, you can follow me at HRoseStudios!
Thanks! I wish everyone a safe Memorial Day weekend!!
Filed under News, Writing