Tag Archives: weddings

Don’t Get Even, Get Shoes

A while back I mentioned an article I was writing about online dating. I referred to it as “online dating turned unintentional social experiment.”  I haven’t posted it yet but I will. For now, I have decided I am done with online dating. I deleted my account after getting one too many pictures of body parts I never wanted to see let alone asked for pictures of. Online dating was more like channel surfing than anything. It got to the point where I ignored 99.99% of the guys that messaged me, even the really cute ones, because I knew they were wrong for me, so why waste their time (and mine). I had been a few weeks without it -before I reopened my account this last time. Those few weeks were boring yet productive. Now what would I do with the time in between doing the other things that I usually do? I still didn’t have a boyfriend so naturally my mind gravitated to the next best thing: shoes.

Shoes that might be worth paying over $400 for...

Money cannot buy love but it can buy shoes! And I found a really great place for people on a sort of shoe budget- a shoe of the month club ran by Kimora Lee Simons. Each month you get a new pair of shoes or boots. Each month a fee of $39.95 is charged to you credit card. This price is what I would consider mid-grade. I am not someone who buys Christian Louboutins or Jimmy Choos. Even if I could light hundred dollar bills on fire without flinching, the idea of spending $400+ on a pair of shoes is kind of ridiculous…well…unless they were really, really cute shoes. Then it’s a different story. I sometimes bought shoes from Macy’s and Jessica Simpson- those were in the $100 prices range give or take $30. That was until I discovered the shoe section at my local Target and they have very nice shoes in the $30 price range. Continue reading


Filed under Dating, Fairy Tales, Fun, Healing, Life Lessons, Love

Ass Clowns Are Forever

I will never understand why some people end up marrying the first people they date and why people like me can date a million men and have all of them turn out the same- never finding one guy that ends up being decent. After the first handful of weddings of friends and relatives that were so limited in gene pool that in most states it would be illegal to marry the majority of the people in the room- weddings when you sometimes end up having to dance with your cousins (of the same sex even!) it started to wear on you. Especially when you become older then the bride. That really sucks. But you had to go because somebody’s got to be there to miss the bouquet!

I have missed the bouquet several times and for several reason. Many a wedding I drank too much and happened to be in the bathroom when it was thrown. Aw shucks on the first time that happened (as my cousin had it rigged and was gonna throw it right to me!). Then there was the time my friend’s thrice-divorced aunt stood right in front of me at the last minute and ended up catching it. There is no way I would’ve missed if it wasn’t for her Walmart-loving tank ass. Sorry. I’m still a little miffed about that one.

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Filed under relationships

On Marriage and Weddings: Part One

The idea of living in a house, a place where I will likely be for a few decades with a man I am legally obligated to has never been my idea of happiness. It would likely evolve into the tragedy that was the movie “Revolutionary Road.”

In movies and in life, I know the boys always feel like they’re losing their buddy, whenever one of their friends get married, while women seem to rejoice and celebrate the event. All I know is that I have lost more friends to weddings than to traffic accidents, alcohol, or anything else for that matter. As I watch my friends lives change outwardly, families pulsating and growing, finances ebbing and flowing, I have remained outwardly one of the most static characters in my own life. On the inside I have changed but haven’t coupled up or even had the desire for children.

I’ve had a lot of time to think about weddings, in between going to them. I know if I got married and there was even a handful of people as unenthusiastic as myself sitting in the audience I would consider elopement. Why must we all attend these events? I know they need witnesses and maybe a wedding is a means to prove something to the other person- professing your love in front of a large audience and all.

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Filed under Friendship