Many of us consider ourselves our own worst critics, and I used to think so, too. I was always so hard on myself to the point of perfectionism. Then one day I smoked salvia, no joke, and began to see things differently. I started to realize that other people’s opinions of me and what they thought I should be doing were so imbedded into my mind that their expectations became stronger than my own wants and needs. I inevitably realized that the self criticism which tortured my mind for years was not in response to my voice, but in actuality was self-criticism and self-punishment for not living up to expectations of others. Slowly I began to eliminate their opinions.
If you have felt this type of guilt, and thought this way, the truth is, you’re not really disappointing anyone through your actions. These people are only disappointed in you (when your actions differ from their vision of what you should be doing) because they are losing control of you. These are not friends, nor are they people you should be taking advice from.
Think back to the things you always beat yourself up over. Do you beat yourself up over failures that caused you disappointment or are you being hard on yourself for not living up to other people’s desires for who you are and who you should be? I guarantee that the majority of failures and things you hold against yourself belong to the latter category.
You know who you truly are and who you want to be. Don’t let other people muddle your thoughts. Speak your truth and people of substance will appreciate your wisdom. We are not on this Earth to regurgitate what others expect us to regurgitate. When we do this, we lose our identity and certainly cheat everyone out of what we truly have to offer.
“Why die a copy when you were born an original?”