Good Luck

I had a dream the other night that I was at the Superbowl. One of the teams put me in on the line to foil the other team’s chance at winning. By some stroke of luck, I threw a half decent spiral that ended the game in a victory for my team (the team they were trying to fix for a loss).

After my sizable victory, which certainly was huge, considering I am neither a pro football player nor have I ever watched a football game in my entire life, I went to Paris, another location I had never been to. Once in Paris, I ran into my cousin who died a month ago from cancer at the age of 28. My cousin never liked me. In fact, her and her two older sisters did their best to alienate me and leave me out whenever my family visited their’s.

Upon running into my cousin, I told her about how I had just won the Superbowl. The truth is, I was pretty much telling anyone I ran into about it; I had few family left and even fewer that cared. She seemed interested in talking to me despite our history of the contrary, but inevitably reverted to her usual stance from childhood and wanted nothing to do with me. I obliged her wishes, but before parting, I noticed something strange. She had three eyes. Two like you and I, and a third that was identical to her others. This third eye was right in the middle of her forehead, where the metaphysical third eye appears. The eye was blue like her others and twinkled with life; as odd as this was it was extremely realistic.

It all started about a month ago, when my addiction to Ebay was winding down. I was pretty much over it until my eyes caught the most beautiful Weiss Shamrock Brooch. The brooch was perfect with mufti-colored crystals. And the price was so low for a Weiss… Weiss was one of the best costume jewelry makers in the 40’s and 50’s and certainly my favorite. All of Weiss’ pieces had very high quality prong set crystals. I doubted that my very low bid would win me the brooch, but to my surprise it did. The brooch arrived in the mail a few days later packaged neatly in a dainty gift box- very un-Ebaylike as packages typically come wrapped in materials that appear to have been taken out of the trash. When I opened it, I was shocked by its pristine condition. It did not look worn. It did not look vintage and it wasn’t until a few days later that I realized it was a knock off. Steamed, I immediately messaged the seller demanding to know if she was aware of what she sent me: a fake.

“Hi I would like to return this and I would like a refund of the item’s cost, the shipping, because if the misrepresentation of the item as ‘vintage.’ I am pretty upset about this. It would probably be in your best interest to cover my shipping charges too.” I was pissed. I do not like being lied to. I suspected it was an accident, however. She soon wrote back,

“Hi there, I had no idea, I bought it in a huge lot with other stuff, that has wear, like this one on the back. How do you know it’s a reproduction? I know designers names, but wasn’t aware they made reproductions back then? Just let me know how its not vintage, I’m happy to take it back. Thanks.”

Either she was really manipulative or just didn’t get it, so I wrote her a handy dissertation on how I could tell it was a fake (and certainly some information that she should probably hold onto for her Ebay-selling future).

“Hi,

There are several ways to tell. I am glad that you have obviously made a mistake and didn’t intentionally deceive me.

1. The stones in real Weiss jewelery are prong set- these are glued- and the glue job is not even a very good one- some of them are glued crooked and falling off- namely the large “keystone” in the center.

2. Not the same kind of metal Weiss uses. Weiss metal is shiny and light- this is dark and heavy- the metal they used back then was not heavy

3. This is not the typical Weiss signature- nope

4. There are several more of these exact same brooches for sale on Ebay- that is almost impossible- a coincidence like that- if it is truly vintage- think about it- how often have you seen the same piece twice?

Her response:
“Do you still have my address? Go ahead and send it back in the box to keep it safe. Once I receive it, I will offer you the refund. Shipping has never been refunded to me before after a return, nor have I asked, It’s a cost that people can never get back, but I will do half of the shipping when it gets back to me. I’m sorry it was not what you hoped for.” Now this really pissed me off. Not what I hoped for? You mean the reproduction brooch that you advertised as genuine vintage?

“Look it was not ‘I’m sorry it was not what you hoped for.’ You misrepresented the item by saying it was vintage when it wasn’t.”

“I apologize, I am not a Weiss expert. I did not intentional misrepresent, as I feel it is vintage. Do you need my address?” So it’s supposedly vintage because she feels it is? Yes, and when I drive my Kia, I sometimes (well, more often than not) pretend that it’s a red, tan leather interiored Ferrari. However, when I pull into my driveway and get out of the car it is unfortunately and always will be a Kia.

“Just because you feel it is vintage doesn’t make it vintage,” I wrote back. Was I dealing with a 11 year old? I was seriously beginning to think this person was not old enough to even be on eBay… One of my friends inquired why i was getting in a pissing contest with this air head…  I know that I took it too far, as she already offered to refund the money and I kept going, but it wasn’t about the money. I actually liked the brooch but wanted to send it back on principle alone; because she’d deceived me.

In the midst of this weird stuff started to happen. I got a pretty cool job offer, advanced a bit in my writing career, and bought an amazing designer bag at a thrift store for $20. There was something to this clover brooch, even if it was a fake. I told her to forget it and that I would keep the knock off.

Of course I couldn’t stay on top for ever….not for too long. My writing progress came to a halt, my books continue to be rejected by agents, a few distant relatives died, my dog is sick and my Kia is still not a Ferarri. The good luck charm remains on my desk. I will not allow myself to believe that the excellent things that happened that week it first arrived in the mail are all the luck it will bring me. There is much more to be discovered.

Do you have anything unconventional that you consider a good luck charm???