Lonely in Cyberspace

I inhabit a virtual universe called Second Life where you create a very life-like avatar, own land, create art, go to concerts, meet people from all over the world and have love affairs.  I have been on the site since 2006.  I feel like I really do have a Second Life. What’s strange is I can feel just as lonely in Second Life as I do in my First Life.  Tonight when I came home I missed my deceased boyfriend, looked at my bleak email and facebook lists and then went on the website Second Life and had the same feelings.

My boyfriend and I used to each have avatars in Second Life.  His avatar had marijuana wings and Jamaican dreadlock hair.  He never really had the imagination to play as much as I do in Second Life, but we had some fun times together there and he met some of my friends there.  He even met one of my boyfriends from Second Life in real life when he came to San Diego in his plane and we met him for lunch at the little airport near our house.  My boyfriend used to be a pilot too.

The connections in cyberspace can make life feel less lonely too. It enables me to live alone and be creative and still have contact with other people in a quiet non intrusive way.  People in real life tend to me messy and loud.  It is nice to have friends in the computer who are there when you need them and quiet when you don’t.

The emotional attachments to other people’s avatars can be very real and intense.  Meeting someone at a bar in Second Life or through online friends is just as exhilarating there as it is in real life.  The sexual attraction to someone can be instantaneous or build over time.  There is any kind of sensual pleasure you can imagine in Second Life. Some people choose to have avatars who are beautiful tigers that lay around in a pack and talk to each other, snooze and preen.  I know lairs of dragons and clubs of Shemales. In Second Life there is an adult section, a teen part and a general part, but when I joined in 2006 everything was blended together.

Back in 2006, when I started, casinos were legal in Second Life and so many people were at those sites they would crash the sims.  There are still plenty of game areas and there are simulated warrior battles too. There is a strong vampire community in Second Life and many Gorean based groups.  The Steampunkers are an imaginative bunch and I love to play with the mermaids and explore their underwater sites.

I think the really wonderful part of Second Life is the music.  A musician can be in his home anywhere in the world and stream in his music live to a group of avatars who are assembled from sites all over and everyone can talk and listen to the music.  I used it like I do a radio or television to bring some human contact into my world.  I know a friend from where I used to live in Alaska who has quite a following in Second Life for his music. Blues Heron. In the summer, he runs a fishing charter business and plays his music mostly in winter.  He says Hi to me and fills me in on what my other friends are doing up in Alaska.

I like to have a home in Second Life and that means I pay a little each month.  However there are many things to do there without becoming a member and Gypsy life is free.  The shopping gets me in a tizzy because I can buy a new ball gown for ten cents or up to three dollars for couture designed creations. I just bought a sexy red spandex top and put it with my blinging red heels, blue latex skin tight pants and long black gloves.

I have an avatar that looks a lot like me in real life.  I found a plus sized model and I got some white short hair. She can lose weight with just a few clicks of my mouse or change from a blond to a red head instantly. She can also lose her clothes easily and has real nipples. In Second Life, men have to buy a penis (as one is usually not provided when you sign up).  Some of the tattoos in Second Life are fun, easy to put on and take off.  You can also buy animations for your avatar that allows them to move in a more realistic manner. Having sex in Second Life is very arousing with the right partner. In Second Life love is possible yet very complicated.

Lonely? There are no guarantees that you won’t still be lonely in your first or Second Life but you can have fun alone in each one and that is nice too; you have options. You really get to know who you are when you have the opportunity to be anything your mind can imagine.