Author Archives: Hayley Rose

by | August 30, 2011 · 7:42 pm

New Post on the Veggie Stand, “Confessions of A Vegetarian: Before and After, My Two Selves”

As a biased free spirit, I am rooting for the Frida on the right. This painting strongly reminded me of an event in my life that occurred the other day when I picked up a pizza.  I scanned the menu while I chatted with the hostess. On the menu the buffalo chicken pizza caught my eye. It had roasted peppers, onions, hot sauce and homemade Gorgonzola dressing- oh and chicken. It was certainly the most delicious buffalo chicken pizza I’d ever heard of. “Your buffalo chicken pizza sounds really good. I don’t eat meat, but I used to lovebuffalo chicken pizza- before I became a vegetarian,” I blurted to the hostess. Our conversation ensued and she suggested I get it sans chicken because it would likely be just as delicious as with the chicken, I concurred and went on to tell her that when I used to eat meat, like buffalo chicken. I thought about buffalo chicken for a moment. Maybe she was right. I loved the hot sauce, the fried crispy breading, and the dressing, but never truly liked the chicken part. She nodded her head in agreement knowingly as we continued to discuss this issue.

I walked out with my vegetarian pizza, crushed tomatoes, fresh mozzarella, and basil, I thought about our conversation.  As I spoke of my former self, the one who loved buffalo chicken pizza, It felt like I was talking about someone else. Indeed we were no longer the same person, but how could that be?

Read More At The Veggie Stand

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by | · 1:01 am

Chaz Bono Joins the Cast of Dancing with the Stars: How Will This Impact the Transgender Community?

Chax Bono, DWTS

   In the past year, Chaz Bono has become the unofficial spokesperson for the transgender community. Right now, gay marriage in the US is an issue that most people are familiar with to some extent, while transgender individuals still puzzle and scare some people. With the opposition that gay Americans have received for demanding the same rights attained by their heterosexual neighbors, you can only imagine how a transgender individual would be received. The subject itself is still very taboo and saved for satirical movies like The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Often, transgender and transsexual individuals are considered more of a freak or joke than individuals with thoughts and feelings.

When I heard that Chastity Bono was going through a sex change, I was surprised as much as anyone else. I’ve known several transgender people, none of whom have made the transition. It is understandable why there are not more people in the world like Chaz Bono. Most people would got be open and comfortable being their true selves when it so brazenly goes against the grain of what public opinion currently deems acceptable. But imagine what it would feel like-to be born in the wrong body. That is often how a transgender person describes the way they feel about themselves.

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by | August 29, 2011 · 1:32 pm

Are You Only Attracted to Jerks?

Is there a pattern in your life? Does everyone you date end up being a total waste of your time? Are they nice at first but then after the first or second date (or sometimes even before) you start to see their true colors? And somehow you still keep picking them.

Are jerks generally more physically attractive and fit than their kind hearted alternatives? That could be part of it. I know that 100% of the jerks I’ve dated were decent looking or muscular. Maybe this is because jerks have to work on a superficial level to attract potential mates. When they have nothing going on on the inside, pumping iron and developing an appealing physique may still win them some points with the ladies. Am I calling nice men unattractive? Of course not, but I am saying because jerks lack substance, their looks are the only thing they have to attract women, and if it’s not their looks, often a flashy car will do the trick.

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by | August 26, 2011 · 4:40 am

“She Ain’t You,” Damn Strait She Ain’t Me, Chris Brown

What happens when a man loses the love of his life? Well, if you’re Chris Brown, you whine about it in a song. Sorry Chris. I don’t have any sympathy for you. The title of Chris Brown’s new song “She Ain’t You,” brings back some melancholy emotions from my relationship with my first boyfriend. He thought I could be easily replaced, he took me for granted in every way possible, and when I finally broke up with him, he kept coming back to me. By that point it was too late- it was too late way before that point, actually. If he loved me so much and thought I was so incredible why did he mistreat me in the first place?

 “She Ain’t You.”

Those three words express an entire story- a story of longing and lost love- and possibly something that went terribly, terribly wrong. As you can probably guess I am not a huge fan of Chris Brown, but the title of the song and the infamous beating he gave his ex-girlfriend Rihanna is enough information for us to piece it together ourselves.

Have you ever known a batterer? A man who was angry enough to hit or punch a woman? If you know anyone like this personally, you know that their anger issues are not caused by their victim: the person they take their rage out on. It is something darker within their own person, something that has never been addressed. So why would someone with an issue like this get involved in a relationship in the first place? Good question.

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by | August 25, 2011 · 12:42 pm

Is Honesty Really the Best Policy? On Huff Post

Good Afternoon,

If you haven’t checked out my article, “Is Honesty Really the Best Policy,” please follow the link below.

Is Honesty Really the Best Policy?

Well it all depends on what you are trying to accomplish. If you are looking to forge meaningful friendships and relationships, then yes it is. If you prefer to dodge real connections and fear vulnerability, then no it isn’t. Let me explain.

When you are honest it is very easy for you to spot dishonesty. On the contrary, when you are dishonest the lines become blurred and it’s difficult to spot lies. Since I began writing and sharing some of my most painful and humiliating memories, many people have contacted me to thank me for expressing what they could not say. Don’t you sometimes find that when you leave yourself open and vulnerable and say what is truly on your mind, those around you nod in agreement?

Read the rest of it here 

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by | August 24, 2011 · 3:45 pm

Chocolate Covered Grasshoppers??? On The Veggie Stand

Good Afternoon Everyone!

If you are interested, I wrote and article called, “Chocolate Covered Grasshoppers” on The Veggie Stand. The article explores the sacredness of animals and the Native American belief in animal totems. It also questions the ethics of eating bugs…

You can check it out here 🙂

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by | August 23, 2011 · 2:26 pm

Is Honesty Really the Best Policy?

Well it all depends what you are trying to accomplish. If you are looking to forge meaningful friendships and relationships than yes, it is. If you prefer to dodge real connections and fear vulnerability, then no it isn’t. Let me explain.

When you are honest it is very easy for you to spot dishonesty. On the contrary, when you are dishonest, the lines become blurred and it’s more difficult to spot lies. Since I began writing and sharing some of the most painful and humiliating memories, many people have contacted me to thank me for expressing what they could not say. Don’t you sometimes find that when you leave yourself open and vulnerable and say what is truly on your mind, those around you nod in agreement?

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Filed under Friendship, Life Lessons, Love

by | August 22, 2011 · 5:16 am

Confessions of A Vegetarian: Carnivorous Cravings

Please check out my newest article on The Veggie Stand, “Confessions of A Vegetarian: Carnivorous Cravings.” 

Last week I wanted a filet mignon. The next day it was salmon. I don’t think us vegetarians are suppose to say this out loud (especially those of us who are vegetarians for ethical reasons). Aren’t we suppose to be so married to the cause -the principles of ethical vegetarianism- that we wouldn’t dare admit to missing steak? Well not really… Maybe an outsider would expect that from us, but those of us who are active veggies know that we sometimes get cravings for meat or fish and that sometimes it can be borderline unbearable.

Most of the time abstaining from meat isn’t much of a struggle. However, since becoming a vegetarian eating has become more of a chore than ever. My meals have become more elaborate and take more planning that when I was an omnivore and could just grill up some chicken, throw it into a salad, and call it dinner. Though food is still a very big part of my life, my feelings for it have changed since committing to my vegetarian lifestyle.

Before becoming a vegetarian, I was a very different person. When I traveled, food and beer were as exciting and pleasurable as the atmosphere of the destination itself. For me, overindulgence almost always went hand in hand with vacation. In this I am not alone, as many people give weight to the sampling of ethnic or regional food and drinks when traveling. Some people travel for the food and drinks alone!

Follow the link to The Veggie Stand to read the rest of the article

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by | August 21, 2011 · 12:39 pm

Forgiving My Rapist- Now on The Huffington Post

Good Afternoon Everyone!

If you haven’t yet read my article “Forgiving My Rapist,” please check it out at The Huffington Post. The article is not just about finding the strength to forgive one of the people who messed up my life but more so about the courage and strength it takes to stop blaming and forgive yourself. This is an article that anyone can relate to- rape victims or not.

Forgiving My Rapist

I received a tweet from a reader in regards to my article“Confronting My Rapist.”

The tweet states,

“I read your article about facing your rapist. You are a better woman than me, I couldn’t have acted so politely and diligently.”

I found the tweet to be extremely thought-provoking. Though I responded to my rapist with expletives and warnings to never bother me again, it was through email and not in person. By the sound of my reader’s tweet, when faced with the same scenario, she might’ve kicked the guy’s butt (or at least cussed him out). This thought made me smile, I can’t say I don’t blame her.

When it comes to my situation, I never really thought about vengeance. I was too caught up in hurting myself and messing up my own life because of the unbearable pain. Thinking about it now, it might feel good to go to his home, smash the windows of his car, and break everything he owns, but would that solve anything? If I destroyed all his belongings he would still be more reparable than how he left me.

Finish Reading the Article here 🙂

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by | August 18, 2011 · 11:58 am

How to Stay Forever Young Now on Huff Post

If you haven’t checked out my article, “How to Stay Forever Young,” make sure you stop by The Huffington Post!

In our culture youth is coveted like never before — 50 is the new 30, they say. I often get mistaken for being a lot younger than I actually am. People sometimes even think I’m only 18, which is a great compliment, but they’re wrong! I want to talk about how I’ve accomplished this “agelessness.”

Like a lot of people, I’ve had a lot of really shitty stuff happen to me throughout my life, and there was a point where I promised myself that I would try to make the best of my life and stay young forever.

It wasn’t just about looks, though a good moisturizer does help. It was about attitude. Regardless of what happened to me, there are a few things I’ve consistently done to keep myself forever young.

  1. Never Bring Anyone Down. People are shocked when they find out about my past because they cannot fathom how I am such a positive person after what happened to me. There are many reasons why I am so positive. When I went through the difficult times I was in so much pain that I never wanted to make anyone else feel as bad as I did, so no matter what I was always positive and supportive of those around me. I don’t believe in bringing people down just because you’re in a bad mood.
  2. Give Yourself the Freedom to Do Whatever You Want. When things really weren’t going my way, I had to do whatever it took to make myself somewhat happy. So I did whatever I wanted: shopping, trips, working out, eating chocolate, whatever I wanted that was within my means at the time. And I remember there was a time where I only had300 in cash to my name and no job prospects. I was around 20 at the time and had just broken up with this guy. One night, for the heck of it, I took off and drove to Woods Hole, Massachusetts and took the ferry to Martha’s Vineyard, where I stayed for the day. When I got home I only had about200 left, but I didn’t care, there was always more money to be made.

Read the rest here.

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