Author Archives: Hayley Rose

by | April 7, 2012 · 1:02 pm

Abandoned

In the movie Groundhog Day, Bill Murray’s character awakes every morning to the same exact day. Because of this, he is able to live each day without consequences and still wake up the next morning as if nothing happened. He eats whatever he wants, commits suicide, and is an all out jerk, yet the next morning he’s still in his bed reliving Groundhog Day all over again.

Aside from the monotony of it all, the fact that his character seems to despise Pittsburgh, living the same day over and over again doesn’t seem like the worst thing could happen a person…well, that is until said person falls in love…

Soon he does, he falls in love with Andie McDowell’s character and they have an affair. However, every morning when Murray wakes up she is gone. When he sees her that day, it is as if it never happened. She has no recollection of the event, which doesn’t say much about his performance. Just kidding, it is of course because the day has started over again as if nothing had ever happened.

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by | April 3, 2012 · 2:24 pm

Love Isn’t Love Until You Give it Away

“Love Isn’t Love Until You Give it Away.” I saw it written on a poster at the store this morning. I probably should’ve been working, but instead I went shopping for vintage jewelry.

“Love Isn’t Love Until You Give it Away.” I just Googled it- apparently it is also the title of a Reba McEntire song.

Last night I was reading various blogs and I came across a post by Phyllis Bright Eyes. The title of the post was “Will I Recognize Love When I Find It?” Wow, good question. Most of us have grown so used to negativity and rejection that “Will I recognize love when I find it?” seems like a more than valid question. Most of us have settled for something or another, something close to love someone that our parents or friends warn us that we should not pass up. But what makes it a good thing if we have to look outside ourselves, to the voices and opinions of others, to see that it is? This is all a grand delusion, a self-deception that will fall apart in time.

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Filed under Dating, Domestic Violence, Love, relationships, Sexual Assault

by | April 1, 2012 · 9:50 pm

My Secret Marriage

“No one is going to ask you out if they see those rings on you, Hayley.” I didn’t exactly understand my friend’s concern, as the rings were on right hand. I suppose that the gold band and diamond could easily be mistaken for some type of commitment.

“I really don’t care anymore,” I replied.  The last date I was suppose to go on did not happen. The man made tentative plans with me and we didn’t really text much after that. It was fine by me as I was losing interest and secretly hoping that he would forget about our plans and blow me off.

In my work, the work I do besides writing, I have become an expert in the study of reading people as well as energy exchange. It was because of this that I knew there was a good chance I could will it to happen: that I could cause him to blow me off.

Energy exchange is simple. Think of the relationship or friendship between two people as always adding up to 100%.

Sometimes we make friends that we just instantly click with and love to talk to until all hours of the night. Both people in this friendship are giving and receiving at the same level, a level that balances out perfectly and in the end equals up to 100%; with a 50% contribution from each party.

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Filed under Dating, Destiny, Friendship, Growth

by | March 27, 2012 · 12:17 am

Conform!

Most artists in this country are greatly under-appreciated. When I refer to most artists, I am not talking about the musicians and actors who are bringing home multimillion dollar paychecks each year. No. I’m talking about the artists who are barely getting by and if they’re lucky, still living in their parent’s basements. These artists are hanging onto their last thread of identity, uselessly dragging their fingernails through the sand as the undertow of conformity threatens to pull them in at any moment. They are almost drowning, almost. They are tired. Tired of rejection, tired of trying, and most of all tired of fighting the culture of conformity; an entity that berates their life’s choices at every opportunity. Most give up, some drown, but a small percentage hang in there, hoping that each new day might be the day that they get their big break.

The pressure to conform is immense. It does not just come from “well-meaning” friends and family who think the solution to the artist’s problems is to get a regular 9-to-5 like everybody else. These people do not understand the call the artist is pursuing to begin with. What they’ve noticed is that the artist in their life is struggling; that they don’t have health insurance and barely enough money to pay for gas. In their eyes, these dilemmas are reason enough for the artist to give up on their unrealistic pursuit, their dream, and get a real job. And they view the artistic pursuit as just that: a dream. To them, the artist’s goal of sharing their art with the world is an unattainable fantasy.

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Filed under Art, Dreams, Heart, Motivation, Passion

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by | March 19, 2012 · 7:32 pm

Communal Dystopia

“Look, I want to be honest and real with you because you deserve it sweetie… I am attracted to you and yes I want you to be mine one day if God is willing, babygirl. My wife and I would love to get to know you sweetie… You are a beautiful woman and getting to know you would be a pleasure. We, as a married couple, are seeking to have a committed serious relationship that could lead to family and children one day. We want to be upfront and real with a fine sexy beautiful goddess like yourself, sweetie, and by the way, we are new to this also, so hit us up when you have a chance ok. Take care babygirl!”

This is by far one of the oddest messages I have received via my online dating profile. Through the years, however, I have encountered many swingers. For a long time I was a waitress at a sushi bar and during that time I saw some of the craziest stuff and met some of the craziest people- these people, of course, included swingers. There was the nude photographer who offered me $50 an hour to sell my soul (aka to pose nude for his smut photography). “Well, you’re just a waitress,” he assumed, “I’m sure you could use the extra money.”  As if! This self-proclaimed “photographer” was a married man and often visited the restaurant accompanied by two other couples and his wife. They invited me to join in their “after dinner festivities” several times. I flirted with them to up my tip, but would never ever participate in an orgy (and if I did, they would certainly be my last choice of partners).

This recent message from the married couple online, wouldn’t be the first message I’ve received from a couple on the dating site that inquired about some type of group sex/ relationship arrangement. The first was from a guy who had a girlfriend but was seeking a threesome. The first time he messaged me he was upfront. The second time he messaged me, his profile no longer mentioned that he was in a relationship. I envisioned that he still was with the girl and that meeting up with him would inevitably get me jumped and possibly murdered by them both. I promptly ignored his message just like I am going to ignore the one from the married couple who wants to make their couple into a triple (that could possibly lead to “a committed serious relationship that could lead to family and children one day”).

This reminds me of the time I almost joined a commune. When I lived in Arizona, one of my best friends, who also happens to be a mega-Christian sorority girl, brought me to a place called Arcosanti. Because of my friend’s extremely conservative background, I never suspected that anything at Arcosanti was awry, being a devout Christian, she would die before she went against her Bible-given principles.

Arcosanti is an art commune of sorts that focuses on building an Earth friendly society with urban planning that focuses on sustainability (architecture that goes along with the grain of the terrain rather than dominate it). From what I gather, it is an independent community that self-governs and self-regulates (such as the Vatican). The place is gorgeous and built within the desert in a way that doesn’t seem to alter the land as it reaches towards Arcosanti’s goal of a sustainable environment.

Arcosanti Panoramic View

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by | March 14, 2012 · 4:04 pm

Silently Suffering with Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Me, the picture this article is based on

Body dysmorphic disorder or BDD is a mental illness characterized by a skewed perception of the self. People with BDD spend large amounts of time obsessing over and trying to “fix” a physical flaw that they believe they have. Often this flaw is more imagined than real. Take for example, people who become addicted to plastic surgery. No matter how many procedures they get, in their minds, they always fall short of perfection.

I remember watching Dr. 90210, a show about a plastic surgeon and his practice in Beverly Hills, California. Not only did it appear that his wife, who got skinnier and skinnier every episode, had a titch of this disorder, but it also seemed to plague many of his patients. On one episode, a woman who’s body was on par with a Victoria’s Secret model came into the office for a consultation. She said that her thighs were fat. It was pretty anticlimactic when she revealed her thighs and pointed out the region of imperfection because there was none.

I didn’t realize that I too had a bit of this BDD. I always feel fat and bloated. I am still trying to lose “that last twenty pounds.” And it wasn’t until I saw a recent picture of myself that I realized that I might be suffering from the disorder.

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by | March 12, 2012 · 2:21 pm

New on Hayley’s Comments

Good Afternoon! I would like to announce a few things.

The first is that the print copy of my book “I Know Why They Call a Shell a Shell,” will be coming out soon and I definitely want to do a giveaway/ contest. I will keep you posted on this.

Next, make sure you keep an eye out tomorrow for Linda’s new post, “I Wrote This Because You Loved Me.” The post is a touching and transcendental tribute to her beloved sister.

And finally, today I made my debut in HuffPost Politcswith my piece, “Rush Thinks We’re All Sluts.” Be sure to check it out by following this link! Have a great day everybody, XO

Hayley

 

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Filed under Growth, Love, News, Writing

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by | March 9, 2012 · 11:08 am

This is Not a Women’s Movement – This is a People’s Movement

This is Not a Woman’s Movement – This is a People’s Movement

On Monday, I wrote an article calling for a new feminist movement;a movement in which men and women work together to achieve equality and to squelch hate-speech. From the beginning, I realized this issue wasn’t limited to misogyny but that an issue of inequality existed across the board with racism, prejudice and homophobia. I realized that we do not need a new women’s movement but a people’s movement.

So let’s get this ball rolling. Let’s make sure there is equal pay and marriage rights for all and an end to this ridiculous War on Women. Let’s create further awareness of these issues. Let’s stop politicians and pundits from trying to divide us during a time when we need to stand together.

The country is suffering, people are suffering, even the children are suffering. The children are learning to hate rather than to accept. Bullying in American schools is an epidemic that will only stop when children see that men and women; gay and straight; White, Latino, Black and Asian are all equally valuable.

Furthermore, to dichotimize people by bringing God into the equation is blasphemous. We must scrutinize and be suspicious of anyone wielding “God” as a tool to further perpetuate their agenda of hate.

So apparently- if you want to help me do this, in order for the White House to take notice of this plea- we have to get 25,000 people to sign this petition by April 8th!!! And yes, I am talking about this April 8th as in one month from now! So please spread the word, share the link and sign this petition!

It will be fun to see where this goes- the sky is the limit and there is nowhere to go from this point but up!

Share this link:

http://wh.gov/I5c

 Tweet this link:

http://wh.gov/I5c

Sign the petition!!!

http://wh.gov/I5c

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by | March 8, 2012 · 8:45 am

I’m Drinking Your Vodka Tonight

I had found it under your bathroom sink again. I found it behind your printer once. I found it in your file cabinet. I hated that you hid booze in the house. Once you poured it out. Once you let me put it in the cabinet. Once it killed you.

I put the last four bottles I found under the bathroom cabinet in the back closet. Then I cleaned that closet out and put the Vodka in the kitchen cabinet. It has been there a couple months. Tonight I am having a cocktail. A Pineapple/Vodka drunk. An ode to your life. A time to take you away from this world and out into the universe. Unfortunately the crash back to earth is not worth it. I don’t like the payback but you didn’t seem to mind.

It took me all this time to buy some Pineapple juice. Today at Walmart I found some cheap and that is just what I wanted. You and I had wonderful fun with our Pineapple Cocktails. We added a red cherry to mine and you switched to Grapefruit Juice because you were that kind of guy. We loved our cocktail hour. We loved to play but you had to have more. You had to have a pint of this Vodka a day. A pint. You wanted to transcend. So tonight I am transcending in your honor. Tonight I am remembering the joys of alcohol.

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by | March 7, 2012 · 11:45 pm

New Contributing Writer: Suzanne Smith!

Tomorrow a new writer, Suzanne Smith, will be making her debut at Hayley’s Comments. You will love her work. Like her, it is sensual and seductive. Her first post “I’m Drinking Your Vodka Tonight” will pull you into her world; a world that has known great love as much as it has known great heartbreak.

Suzanne lives in San Diego, California. She lived in Alaska for 25 years with her then husband. They divorced in the 90’s. Since then she has loved and loved and lost. This post is about Peter, Suzanne’s love, who died last year in a tragic accident. Please be sure to check out, “I’m Drinking Your Vodka Tonight.”

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