Author Archives: Hayley Rose

Playing Dress-Up in Greenwich, Connecticut

*** This is an excerpt from my book about failed relationships coming out at the end of the year!

I remember when I was in elementary school one of my friends told me that when she was on vacation in Disney World if someone asked where she was from and she told them she was from Connecticut, they immediately assumed she was rich. I was perplexed. She had an in-ground pool but certainly didn’t live in a gated community. Our families were predominately from Waterbury, Connecticut, a remnant of the long-gone industrial era.

I discovered when I went to an out of state college that what she said was true, that when you tell people you are from Connecticut they assume you live in a neighborhood on par with one of the most affluent ones in Greenwich. Years ago I had never been to Greenwich and wondered what this place was like. The richest town in the entire country would surely be something to see. I imagined that I would be pegged an outsider from the second my 2001 Kia Sportage crossed over the city limits. I was very wrong.

I got a job working for a holistic beauty company and had to go to various health food retailers. Now I had to drive down towards the Gold Coast for work at least once a month. My first experience there was good and it really hasn’t changed since I began working in that area.

One day I answered an ad on Craigslist. They needed bartenders and servers. I sent them my resume and a picture and was hired immediately and asked to come down the next day. Not only would I be bartending in Greenwich, but on a yacht! I would be lying if I told you I was excited. No, I reacted as I usually do when something really great and exciting happens in my life: I was terrified! I had never answered an ad on Craigslist before and feared it wasn’t legit. A yacht? Really? As usual, I pictured worst-cases-scenarios in my head; the yacht taking off with me and other unsuspecting young “bartenders” on it, carrying us out to sea awaiting some sort of mass-auction, our introduction into sexual slavery. Yes I know, I don’t deny that I’m a little crazy. I lived on the Mexican border for a year and never ventured south for the same reason. It’s funny, how someone who has lived to tell the tale of so many risky and dangerous events can be so scared and cautious. I would wager that it is because I lived to tell the tale of so many risky and dangerous events!

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Filed under Dating, Destiny, Fairy Tales, Traveling

Announcements

Hi Everyone. I have been MIA this week because of the major Northeast power outage. We just got power back a few days ago- and some people still don’t have power! I will be writing this week as usual- I just wanted to apologize for my unplanned absence.

In other news, I have a book coming out around the holidays! (and another one coming out early next year)

My book that is coming out this year is a piece of creative non-fiction about my failed relationships- it will be a fun one to read, I promise!

Next years piece is about my time on the road in the great US of A!

Okay, well thanks for checking in, and Hayley’s Comments will be back to normal schedule beginning tomorrow!

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Are You Hiding Inside an Abusive Relationship? On HuffPost

Sometimes when we don’t trust ourselves, we feel very insecure about stepping out into the world to live life. I know I was afraid to go out and be my own person because of the abuse and rape I experienced at a young age. I feared that I, again, wouldn’t be able to protect myself if put in a compromising situation. As a result, I entered into an abusive relationship and subsequently continued this pattern for years. I was attracted to these types of relationships because, on a subconscious level, the aspect of control imposed limits that made me feel “protected” when everything around me felt very out of control. Alone, I felt vulnerable; like I could become a victim again at any time.

Like a textbook abusive relationship, the imposed limitations ended up including a list of things he didn’t want me to do, people he didn’t want me see, and places he didn’t want me to go. Somewhere in my psyche I knew this and permitted it to happen because I felt more insecure out of the relationship than I did in it. Ironically, I ended up existing in this cocoon for several years instead of navigating the world on my own.

Read the rest of the article after the jump.

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What’s New This Week on The Veggie Stand

Meet Ginger, this week’s Rescue Animal of the Week!

And don’t forget to enter your pet because they could be our next Rescue Animal of the Week!

You can also check out (and possibly take) PETA’s pledge to keep animals safe this winter!

Also, if you need a snack, I posted my recipe for “Really Really Good Trail Mix.”

 


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Following Your Dreams is Truly Divine Work

Flowers Hayley Rose 2009

Often, the most difficult thing in life is being true to yourself. By the time your cognitive development is over you have been bombarded with millions of different ideas; ideas that have shaped your personality by telling you not only what you should be doing but who you should be. Many of these messages come from the people who brought us up, friends and relatives, however; the media and culture play undeniable roles in our world view. From the time you are ready to begin life as an adult you are often in a headspace so far away from your true self that you can no longer identify your passion or dreams. Then life gets you. Responsibilities and bills imperative for survival come to the forefront and things like following your innermost dreams seem like something silly, something you tell yourself you will have time to do later.

It is never too late to follow your dreams, sometimes you just have to do a little back peddling. Your truest self is the self that remains when you stop letting the opinions of others penetrate your mind. The only way you will ever reach your true is by not caring about what others think, and stepping forward with courage. It does not matter what others think, following your dream is divine work; it is between you and God. Continue reading

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No Such Thing as Love Like in the Movies?

I have been told there is no love like in the movies. I disagree. For example, this weekend I went with my boyfriend to his family’s cabin in Vermont just over the border of Western Mass. It was a beautiful weekend, the fall leaves cascaded from the oaks and maples like delicate Chantilly drapery. Saturday afternoon, we road our mountain bikes to a summit where we had a picnic. It was perfect, he’s so sweet, he even brought my favorite, lavender champagne! To be honest, most of the weekend, we were cut off from the rest of the world holed up in the cabin’s foyer under its vaulted ceilings. It was so cozy by the roaring fireplace. The heat lit the room like a grenade in a fox hole.

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Filed under Art, Dreams, Fairy Tales, Fiction, Heart, Love

The Killing Fields and My Brush with Death in Texas

This morning on the news I heard about a movie called, “The Killing Fields.” It is based on a string of unsolved murders around Interstate 45 southeast of Houston Texas. The killer and possible killers target young women and girls however, after a bit of research there is suspected 12 different serial killers in the entire Houston vicinity, not just I-45. In fact, there have been 200 unsolved murders of girls in the area since 1971. I don’t usually write about this kind of thing, but when I was in college I went on a road trip with my boyfriend. It started out fun and then things got really scary one night when we stopped in a campground a few hours west of Houston off of I-10. Below is an excerpt from the journal I kept during the trip:

Texas, Hayley Rose 2008

 

The Devil’s Triangle

Road Trip Day 13, 14, 15

June 15, 2008

I don’t understand why I have this strange hobby of walking around cities drunk. Maybe I’m immature, maybe I have a drinking problem, or maybe it’s a little bit of both.

New Orleans was really the most welcoming place for this type of behavior, but I tend to do it anywhere. Towards midnight, the stench of vomit wafted through the air infrequently as we walked block to block. It was pretty disgusting, but on Rue Bourbon we quickly realized that it’s legal to walk around and drink alcoholic beverages, so I guess it must also be legal to vomit on the sidewalk.

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Filed under Journal, Life Lessons, News, Traveling

What’s New This Week on The Veggie Stand?

Meet Kya our first Rescue Animal of the Week An inspirational short story detailing how one little yorkie went from puppy mill to pent house

Enter your pet to be our next Rescue Animal of the WeekDid you or one of your friends rescue an animal? Enter your animal here and maybe you will see him featured soon on The Veggie Stand

Does Eating Soy Cause Breast Cancer? There’s been lots of controversy on this topic lately. I did some research and dug deep- take a look at what I found.

Recipe Wednesday: Buffalofu! This week on Recipe Wednesday, we’re featuring one of my favorites, Buffalofu, my meet-free take on boneless buffalo wings- YUM!

 
 


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When is it Verbal Abuse?

When one is on the receiving end of continuous verbal and emotional assaults, it becomes difficult to tell metaphorically “where one side ends and the other begins.” That’s because when we’re in the midst of an abusive relationship, it’s easy to lose track of what is abuse and what isn’t. That is often because the person who gets to decide what is verbal abuse and what isn’t is the abuser.

I received a copy of “Victory Over Verbal Abuse,” by Patricia Evans. From the moment I opened it, the words made perfect sense and brought me to a new cognitive level of viewing the social interactions around me. A letter inside the book poses the question, “When is a cutting remark abusive and when is it merely callous?” Continue reading

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The Road Not Taken

 

Photo by Hayley Rose, 2011

I went running in the woods on the 2.5 mile loop that I love. I was hoping to reach the very sedative yet meditative state that one reaches after prolonged physical activity, but my brain was thinking overtime par usual. I decided to run the loop twice and by my fourth mile I was getting a bit fatigued as I began my battle against the steepest hill of the trail. As I began my ascent up the monster of an incline, I noticed a very inviting bench off to the side. Maybe I should sit down for just a minute…

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Filed under Dreams, Inspirational, Motivation, Poetry