Category Archives: Life Lessons

by | October 21, 2011 · 3:14 pm

The Killing Fields and My Brush with Death in Texas

This morning on the news I heard about a movie called, “The Killing Fields.” It is based on a string of unsolved murders around Interstate 45 southeast of Houston Texas. The killer and possible killers target young women and girls however, after a bit of research there is suspected 12 different serial killers in the entire Houston vicinity, not just I-45. In fact, there have been 200 unsolved murders of girls in the area since 1971. I don’t usually write about this kind of thing, but when I was in college I went on a road trip with my boyfriend. It started out fun and then things got really scary one night when we stopped in a campground a few hours west of Houston off of I-10. Below is an excerpt from the journal I kept during the trip:

Texas, Hayley Rose 2008

 

The Devil’s Triangle

Road Trip Day 13, 14, 15

June 15, 2008

I don’t understand why I have this strange hobby of walking around cities drunk. Maybe I’m immature, maybe I have a drinking problem, or maybe it’s a little bit of both.

New Orleans was really the most welcoming place for this type of behavior, but I tend to do it anywhere. Towards midnight, the stench of vomit wafted through the air infrequently as we walked block to block. It was pretty disgusting, but on Rue Bourbon we quickly realized that it’s legal to walk around and drink alcoholic beverages, so I guess it must also be legal to vomit on the sidewalk.

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by | October 17, 2011 · 12:43 pm

Are You Hiding From Life Inside an Abusive Relationship?

Sometimes when we don’t trust ourselves, we feel very insecure about stepping out into the world to live life. I know I was afraid to go out and be my own person because of the abuse and rape I experienced at a young age. I feared that I, again, wouldn’t be able to protect myself if put in a compromising situation. As a result, I entered into an abusive relationship and subsequently continued this pattern for years. I was attracted to these types of relationships because on a subconscious level the aspect of control imposed limits that made me feel “protected” when everything around me felt very out of control. Alone, I felt vulnerable; like I could become a victim again at any time.

Like a text book abusive relationship, the imposed limitations ended up including a list of things he didn’t want me to do, people he didn’t want me see, and places he didn’t want me to go.  Somewhere in my psyche I knew this and permitted it to happen because I felt more insecure out of the relationship than I did in it. Ironically, I ended up existing in this cocoon for several years instead of navigating the world on my own.

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by | October 12, 2011 · 2:49 pm

The Evocative Artist

A bit redundant, evocative artist. What is the artists job if not to produce emotions that captivate? I was doing a great job with the completion of my book when I ran into a huge writer’s block. Since I never believed in writer’s block, dealing with it was like a non-believer living in a haunted house. No matter what I did, accept it or deny it, it would not go away. For days I stressed. Why was this happening to me?

After speaking with a friend, I slowly began to dig my way out of my writer’s block. First I told him the suspected culprit of my writer’s block. That it was possibly related to a subject I was having doubts about putting in the book. The book is a work of creative non-fiction and although I have already spattered my soul across the Blogosphere there were still things I was afraid to write about. Mainly, I worried about people being judgmental.

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by | October 11, 2011 · 5:29 am

Top Ten List of My Most Stellar Online Dating Experiences

Okay so it’s still a bit taboo: online dating. Since I work from home 90% of the time, online dating has been an effective way to meet members (or at least talk to) of the opposite sex. Everyone told me not to do it but as usual, I found a way to rationalize it and convince myself that it was a good idea. Half the people I work with I’ve never met in person. I have never met any of my editors, colleagues, or readers and from what I know of them they all seem like pretty stellar people. So what’s wrong with meeting potential dates online?

Well as it turns out it is different and the same. For one, it differs from the other people I’ve worked with online in the sense that they were decent and the guys I met online all seemed to be self centered man-children. Yet it is similar to actual dating in the sense that 99% of the guys I meet in “real life” end up being jerks. Online 100% of the men I’ve met (thus far) have turned out to be jerks. Statistically the success rate of relationships with men I met online is virtually the same as the success I had with the men I met in person. Shocking, I know!

Though the experiences I’ve had since I began online dating would make a great book, today I’ve decided to share with you some of the highlights of my online dating experience. So below is my Top Ten List of My Most Stellar Online Dating Experiences

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by | October 4, 2011 · 2:35 pm

Renaissance in The City

Interior Grand Central Terminal

A week ago, I took the train into Grand Central Terminal. I’ve done it many times before but this was the first time I did it alone and I was a bit nervous, well terrified really. Not much was different from the other times I’d arrived at the station in the past. I walked up the stairs past the dingy basement that withheld the tracks and ascended into the terminal. It stood like a shrine that brought together the history and life of New York City’s past and present creating a timeless existence encased entirely in large bricks of white marble. I stood in awe for a moment as I always did upon arrival, but this time I stood this way mainly because I was unsure of where to go next. All I knew was that somehow I had to find the subway. Somehow. As I pondered, I looked up at the ceiling eternally painted midnight blue and adorned with stars and constellations. They looked down at me as if they were the answer to all my navigational questions; the star map that would lead me to the subway and all subsequent stops on my journey.

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by | October 3, 2011 · 12:58 pm

Disproving Free Will, Again

For a while I have been thinking about free will versus destiny. I believe that in a way they both exist, but I also believe that using free will isn’t always in your best interest. I see destiny as the path you’re meant to take and free will as the option to go off course. In my experience, going off course has only led to set backs, that for myself, resulted in wasted money, time, and opportunities. I had the free will to do what I wanted, to go off my path, and made decisions that I knew were bad for me at the time. I did what I wanted, and ultimately destiny’s pull was too strong to resist, and I ended up back on it’s path. I believe that following your destiny is in your best interest, and that while free will exists, utilizing it is not always a good idea. Below is an example of what I’m talking about.

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by | September 30, 2011 · 12:56 pm

You Cannot Kill My Spirit

 

…..or as Mel Gibson so eloquently put it in “Braveheart” “they may take our lives, but they’ll never take… OUR FREEDOM!”

He is right, but even after we die, memories of us live on such as those of his “Braveheart” character, William Wallace. Memories are powerful thought energies that hold our essence and spirit- hence the phrase about someone who was absent “She/ he was there in spirit.” Looking at new pictures of myself from a recent outing, smiling and having fun with friends, I was amazed to acknowledge that in them was the same person who experienced rape and abuse. People always say to me that they had no idea and that they never would’ve guessed those things happened to me probably because of my attitude. Continue reading →

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by | September 12, 2011 · 8:30 am

You Could Be My Silver Springs?

  Silver Springs? Hayley Rose 2011

 

Have you ever been exhausted from dating? I have! At first it felt great- to have so many dates lined up with men that seemed decent, were often cute, and successful too! And even better, they wanted to go out with me! Ah, naivety, it never goes away does it?

What ended up happening during this time in my life was much more bleak than the excitement I just exhibited (surprise, surprise). One lying man-child, two pretentious professionals, a normal guy, and a drug addict. Let’s start with the lying man-child who barely put effort into our dates. On the second date, we met at a sports bar, he showed up as if it was Super Casual Friday wearing track pants a purple T-shirt! Ugh. Then the professionals. We never made it to a second date. The first, a doctor, talked about himself the entire night and barely made eye contact with me. Then when he walked me to my truck, he tried to kiss me! He was extremely pissed when I didn’t let him. Then there was the lawyer, who also happened to be in love with himself but was considerate enough to ask questions about me, occasionally. He abruptly stood up while we were having coffee and cited that he had to get up early the next morning for work. Right. I didn’t feel bad, he was an atheist, I always question their motives. I feel like they are not so much non-believers as they are individuals who are angry at God for something and retaliate by denying his existence. Then there was the normal guy. We still talk, meet for coffee, and go for hikes together. We have become friends and have great conversations about all sorts of things like Native American spirituality and nature. Now for the drug addict, here’s where the story gets interesting.

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by | August 25, 2011 · 12:42 pm

Is Honesty Really the Best Policy? On Huff Post

Good Afternoon,

If you haven’t checked out my article, “Is Honesty Really the Best Policy,” please follow the link below.

Is Honesty Really the Best Policy?

Well it all depends on what you are trying to accomplish. If you are looking to forge meaningful friendships and relationships, then yes it is. If you prefer to dodge real connections and fear vulnerability, then no it isn’t. Let me explain.

When you are honest it is very easy for you to spot dishonesty. On the contrary, when you are dishonest the lines become blurred and it’s difficult to spot lies. Since I began writing and sharing some of my most painful and humiliating memories, many people have contacted me to thank me for expressing what they could not say. Don’t you sometimes find that when you leave yourself open and vulnerable and say what is truly on your mind, those around you nod in agreement?

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by | August 23, 2011 · 2:26 pm

Is Honesty Really the Best Policy?

Well it all depends what you are trying to accomplish. If you are looking to forge meaningful friendships and relationships than yes, it is. If you prefer to dodge real connections and fear vulnerability, then no it isn’t. Let me explain.

When you are honest it is very easy for you to spot dishonesty. On the contrary, when you are dishonest, the lines become blurred and it’s more difficult to spot lies. Since I began writing and sharing some of the most painful and humiliating memories, many people have contacted me to thank me for expressing what they could not say. Don’t you sometimes find that when you leave yourself open and vulnerable and say what is truly on your mind, those around you nod in agreement?

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