Category Archives: Women

Should Rapists Qualify for the Death Penalty?

Centuries ago justice systems considered rape as brutal of a crime as murder. In ancient Greece, Rome, and Colonial Times, rape was categorized as a a capital offense right alongside it. In the 12th century rape victims’ families were granted the right to carry out the rapists’ punishment which was brutal and often fatal. In 14th century England, the rape victim was expected to gouge out their rapist’s eyes or castrate him.

Today, rapists typically receive a slap on the wrist. In the United States, current death penalty standards exist mainly for convicted murderers, but shouldn’t rapists be faced with the same penalty? Victims of rape can experience PTSD and emotional consequences that stunt their livelihoods for years and sometimes destroy their entire lives.

Take for example Amanda Berry of Cleveland. Amanda and two other young females disappeared ten years ago when they were aged 14 years old. For the ten years these girls were held captive by their kid-napper. The man not only kidnapped, held captive and raped these girls, but collectively robbed them of thirty years of life. Thirty years they could’ve spent with friends. Thirty years they could’ve spent with family. Thirty years they could’ve spent going to school. Thirty years they will never get back. This is an extreme case of how a rapist can destroy and rob a victim of years of “living.”

In a more typical rape-crime, where it may only takes minutes for a rape to occur, the after effects from the humiliation and violence is difficult for a victim to bear. Issues like Post Traumatic Stress Disorder often rob rape victims of a normal life. Typically the term “PTSD” connotes images of war veterans suffering through an existence tormented with nightmares and flashbacks from their days of combat. Contrary to that imagery, PTSD is not unique to this group of individuals. Rape victims are common sufferers of PTSD.

Perpetrators of a rape usually get very lenient sentencing, but more often than not they are never caught while rape victims will suffer for years after a rape has occurred. Rape is not an experience that is easily forgotten and the after effects on a victim result in issues such as PTSD, depression, addiction and even suicide. Sometimes the issues the victim experiences last the rest of their lives so why shouldn’t the rapist lose their lives (or years of their lives through longer prison sentences) as well? Harsher punishments for rape-crimes would at the very least be a deterrent.

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Filed under Sexual Assault, Women

Oscar Pistorius: The Tragic Hero

Three weeks ago, if had you visited Oscar Pistorius’ Wikipedia page, you would read about a hero. His story was a noble tale of overcoming the odds. Pistorius, a double-amputee athlete, participated in the world’s biggest athletic events (most notably the 2012 Summer Olympics) alongside “able-bodied” competitors.

Pistorius was born with fibular hemimelia, a disease characterized by a “congenial absence of the fibula,” bones located in the lower extremity of the leg. At 11-months-old a large portion of his legs were amputated. Despite his physical limitations, Pistorius excelled at athletics inevitably gaining the nickname “the fastest man on no legs.”

This write-up reads like an obituary and in a way it is. Pistorius’ tale borrows many characteristics from the structure of a Greek tragedy. He is indeed a “tragic hero” and within this thought lies the clue as to why some people are so devastated that he committed this crime.

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Filed under Domestic Violence, Uncategorized, Women

The Appeal of the Bad Boy and How Women Get Sucked In

In 2011, I remember coming across this headline: “Why Did Kat Von D Tattoo Jesse James’ Face on Her Body?” Wow, good question! Von D  swore she’d never laser that baby off, but as of December 2012 she has started the removal process. It is not that simple. It is reported that it will take “anywhere from five to 15 laser sessions, with eight weeks of healing time in between.”  That sounds about right, because when you date a bad boy, it will take just as long or maybe longer to get him out of your heart…

When I was done rolling my eyes at the headline, I was compelled to read the article. I could not help but wonder how a talented and well-known tattoo artist like Kat Von D walk right into this? You are never suppose to tattoo the name or the likeness of a lover on your body! She’s a professional tattoo artist. She should know about the curse!

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Filed under relationships, Women

He Almost Killed Me

Oscar Pistorius and Reeva Steenkamp’s story is consistent with a typical abusive relationship. We will never know exactly what happened on Valentine’s Day in the home of Oscar Pistorius.

“Pistorius said in an affidavit read in court Tuesday that he and girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp, a 29-year-old model and budding reality TV star, had gone to bed and that when he awoke during the night he detected what he thought was an intruder in the bathroom.”

This resonates with the dynamics of many abusive relationships in which outsiders rarely see any evidence that abuse has occurred. Ideally for Pistorius, the possible abuse and inevitable murder of Steenkamp would’ve gone unnoticed. But it didn’t. A witness heard screaming before the shots were fired.

Despite the account of the witness, Pistorius continues to play the role of innocent victim and garner sympathy from his supporters for the “accidental” shooting death of his girlfriend. His actions are an example of a pathological sociopath at his finest. How do I know? I went out with one and he almost killed me.
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Filed under Domestic Violence, Women

Is This Legalized Rape?

As the War on Women rages on, the idiocy of it continues to expand exponentially, take for example last month when two congresswomen were banned from saying the word “vagina.” Add that to the fact that more states continue to ban or attempt to ban abortion and contraception, too.

It’s kind of ironic, the fact that so many of these lawmakers are trying to force themselves into the vaginas of American women everywhere, because in this country, women get to choose who they do and do not let into their vaginas. Even women who might be considered promiscuous by society’s standards, women who let lots of people into their vaginas, still made the choice to do so. There is a word for when someone forces themselves into a woman’s vagina without her permission and that word is rape.

If you read my blog you know a little about my background. I am a survivor of sexual assault. In fact, one in six women in the US are part of this demographic. For these women, who were at one time victims of rape, there was obviously at least one event in their lives in which they did not have that choice; the choice to say “yes” or “no.”

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Filed under News, Sexual Assault, Women

Kisses in Parking Lots

A nice dinner and a little walk primes my pump for a kiss.  When you meet someone on the internet you already know quite a bit about them and you like them.  So the face to face meeting is a little different from meeting for the first time and kissing.  I have had four kisses in parking lots this past year and they were all very good and led to absolutely nothing.

Joe looked like a great prospect because he reminded me of my old boyfriend. We had Mexican Food and talked about his service in Vietnam.  He knew things.  His job was intense now and he was still part of an operational team that was focused and severe except now he was selling commercial kitchen fixtures.  I liked his bravery and as we walked around the block I told him he was lucky to have survived.

“I just know how to run fast.”  That is what I liked to hear.  He wasn’t out to do anyone harm while he sidestepped thru the puddles and over the curbs nicely.  We held hands and I felt safe with him as the evening drew to a close and he walked me back to my truck.  When we kissed it was strong and satisfying.  I touched him and he invited me back to his place.  It was very tempting.  He lived just a few blocks away.  But I zoomed off in my truck and never saw him again.  I was glad I hadn’t slept with him and never heard from him. Apparently he was one of those fellows who is just too busy being part of a team to see the value of one little lady’s attention.

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Filed under Heart, Love, Passion, Sex, Uncategorized, Women

I’m Quitting Writing to Become a Stripper

I’m Quitting Writing to Become a Stripper

Yeah, right. However, not long ago a male acquaintance suggested I do just that. This really blows my mind because he was the second person to do this in the last year. I am and have always been fairly conservative, kept to myself and not any type of exhibitionist so what is it that makes them say such things?

Well the first time this was suggested to me, I was still doing okay writing but not in the eyes of my friend’s boyfriend who said it. “You should become a stripper. You have the body for it.” I got mad at him. He didn’t understand why. He thought it was a compliment. I guess as a concerned friend, he thought it could really help pay my bills…

The second time it was said to me by a person who’s formal education exceeds my own. He is obviously a moron, though. Money nor degrees can do anything about that…  ” You should become a stripper and write about it.”

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Filed under Art, Motivation, News, Sex, Uncategorized, Women