I found this through a Facebook “share” this morning and thought you might appreciate it. I do not know the origins of this photograph. All I know is that is was taken at a DC Slutwalk.
Slutwalks are a recent slew of protests by women who are sick of being victim blamed for their rapes by their rapists and the culture at large.
Filed under Domestic Violence, Growth, Healing, Inspirational, Life Lessons, News, Sexual Assault
I am calling for a new feminist movement and men, we really need your help.
Rush Limbaugh’s comments from last week still has people outraged. Though there are many men who despise him and his views on women, the fact that he is so forthright in the public eye suggests that many more of them are in agreement with his opinions. It is men like Rush who have given “feminists” a bad name and created the stereotype: that feminists are angry “man-haters.” Though he would probably deny it, it is obvious by his loose usage of the term “feminazi” that he has helped to perpetuate this hateful and outrageous stereotype. As a feminist, I have never been a man-hater nor met any feminists who were. It has been made clear by the public’s reaction to Rush’s recent rhetoric that both men and women are fed up with these unfair gender stereotypes and shamefully ignorant accusations.
I used to wonder how the public’s perception of the word “feminist” became so skewed from it’s actual definition “a person who advocates equal rights for women.” Instead of being viewed as courageous, people who dare to challenge the status quo in a country where women are still paid 20% less than what men earn in comparable positions, we are viewed with public disdain and branded man-hating rabble-rousers merely for daring to vocalize these glaring gender inequalities. Publicly, those with clout, like Rush, talk about and regard us with the same type of annoyance and irritation that they also reserve for the brave participants of the Occupy Movement.
Filed under News
Note: This is an article I am writing for a fellow blogger, Sharon Nesbit-Davis’ blog. She works and blogs for the Rockford Arts Council of Rockford, Illinois.
I had only been on Etsy for a little while when I decided I was going to delete my site- demolish it, actually, like a wrecking ball to a dilapidated building. You see, I’d been on there for almost 3 months and hadn’t sold anything. Etsy is an online marketplace where artists can sell their goods. With sites like Etsy, long gone are the days where artists and artisans had to lend their goods out to shops and galleries on consignment to make a sale; a sale which sometimes costs the artist up to 50% of their sales revenue per item sold.
My family and I visited Salem, Massachusetts a lot when I was younger. There was this store on the corner of the main street that I always admired. Not only did it sell paintings and photography but a variety of colorful and unique home goods, really cool dishes, and a lot of handmade stuff. When the store was quiet, you could see the owner putting craft projects together and working on paintings at a little workstation in the center of the room. Sometimes she even had her baby with her cooing in the baby carrier slung across her back. I thought it was the coolest thing ever: to be able to do what you love in that capacity.
I wanted to one day have a store like this, a store where I could showcase and sell all my jewelry and paintings; things that otherwise sat untouched in boxes in my bedroom. I always wondered though, how would I ever be able to pay for such a thing. Rent wasn’t cheap especially for commercial space. Again with places like Etsy, what used to be a necessary overhead costs were now almost gone. No more overhead- well not no more overhead, but certainly no more overhead at those prices.
Filed under Art
I received an email this morning from PETA. They are again combating a law that would prevent people from filming or photographing the interior of factory farms. It is too dangerous for these farms you see, rather than treat their animals humanely they would prefer to keep whistle blowers and their cameras out. Is humane treatment of farm animals too much to ask for? Apparently it is— so much to ask for in fact that these farmers are actually wasting the people of Iowa as well as their law makers time and money with attempts to legally ban these defenders of these abused farm animals. Wouldn’t it be much easier to comply with the fair treatment and regulations created for these poor animals who already have a one way ticket to having their throats slit at the slaughterhouse? I’ve posted the contents of the email below and already contacted the governor to urge him not to enact this absurdity into law. I hope you will sign too. Shame on these farmers!
“We urgently need your help to stop House File (H.F.) 589, which has just passed in the Iowa legislature and has reached the governor’s desk, from being signed into law. If signed, the measure would in effect prevent citizens from photographing or filming a farm without the farmer’s consent and could stop vital undercover work that exposes routine abuse of animals in the factory-farming industry. This absurd bill is a fast and sly rewrite of a bill that was the subject of massive public outcry because it would have criminalized filming without a farmer’s consent outright, and it is no more than a desperate attempt by agriculture industry giants to prevent consumers from learning the truth about the lives and deaths of animals on factory farms.
Filed under Animal Rights, News
After Rush Limbaugh’s recent explosion over birth control it is clear that Rush Limbaugh thinks we’re all sluts. The controversy that caused the explosion: law student, Sarah Fluke’s testimony on behalf of women. Yes, women. She argued that birth control should be covered by insurance even if you are working or attending some sort of religious institution. The vast majority of Republicans are going after birth control coverage in the same way they bullied some insurance companies into removing abortion coverage. Rush responded to Sarah Fluke’s testimony with the following statement.
“So Miss Fluke and the rest of you feminazis, here’s the deal: If we are going to pay for your contraceptives and thus pay for you to have sex, we want something. We want you to post the videos online so we can all watch.”
It is interesting to note that Fluke’s argument was not based on the birth control’s contraceptive properties- but the health issues the pill is used to treat.
This is war: war on women. This last move, an attempt to remove birth control coverage from major insurance plans, proves it. They want us to be barefoot and pregnant or just plain poor from having to buy birth control without insurance coverage. Men can walk into a gas station to buy condoms. Condoms are $1 each. Women have to first make an appointment with an OBGYN (which without insurance is $250 before tests are added to the bill) and then they must get a prescription, bring it to a pharmacy and get it filled. Even with insurance, the copay for birth control is often $20 or even $40 for a one month supply!
I just called my local Rite Aid Pharmacy to get some prices. One of the safest birth control pills to take (safe because it has less hormones in it than the other ones) is $114.99 per month! That is without insurance. With insurance it is probably still expensive, as we know each year copays go up not down.
There are other options like Planned Parenthood, which will provide you with affordable birth control for $35, however, their selection of pills are limited and they do not carry the low hormone brands. Ladies, you better get your affordable birth control at Planned Parenthood quick, because the Republicans in power are trying to defund them too.
QT Pie and his QT Pie stuffed animal
So today QT Pie and I took a trip to the holistic vet. QT Pie has been receiving subcutaneous fluids and is taking a prescription, but after two weeks of administering both, his numbers have got worse. My regular vet said that he couldn’t really give me anything else for him. I scoured the internet and found a few supplements that sounded acceptable. After speaking to the vet on Thursday, I was preparing for the worst, then my father told me about a friend who took their dog to a holistic vet in the area. His friend’s dog was a bichon (like QT Pie). The dog had a tumor on her heart and was turned away by regular vets, “There’s nothing more we can do.” This woman didn’t seem to want to accept “no” for answer, so she took her dog to the holistic vet who prescribed her some magical potions (or something close to it) and the dog miraculously lived to be twenty years old. That is well past the life expectancy of bichons and dogs in general.
Filed under Friendship, Life Lessons, Love
Recently I saw a side of myself that I didn’t know existed. I’ve always considered myself a nice person and rarely get angry. I’ve never road rage and in disagreements, I fight fairly, no name-calling or low blows. This side of me never before appeared— that was until last weekend.
Last weekend I spent Saturday and Sunday in front of my computer on Ebay bidding on jewelry making supplies, crystals, and beads. It was the first time I used Ebay in my adult life and to my delight, I won the first few auctions. When I left the house Saturday afternoon, Ebay was the farthest thing from my mind. That was until later that night when my phone started to buzz in my back pocket. To my surprise, it was my Ebay app alerting me that I had been outbid on a bag of canary yellow beads. Oh no you don’t. I quickly went to “My Ebay” to rebid on the item. After my first attempt to win the beads back I was outbid, so I bid again and again and again until I was finally the highest bidder.
Finally the reigning champion of the auction once again, I realized that I’d been so consumed with trying to be the victor that I never stopped to think about whether or not I still wanted the beads. In the midst of my bidding, my heart was fluttering. I felt a rush. I was excitable and not in a good way. The feeling was on par with the feeling you get after narrowly avoiding a car accident. And to make things worse, I was now the highest bidder for an over priced bag of yellow beads. Did I have some sort of gambling problem?
I’d been to the casino many times. In this country they were everywhere, and Connecticut has some good ones. I don’t really like to gamble and usually say that I am going to the casino for the food but that’s not entirely true either because I am almost always on a diet. And I can’t say I go for the entertainment, the tickets are extremely pricy. I couldn’t get anyone to go with me last year to see Fleetwood Mac, as the worst seats cost around $125 a piece. I mainly go because my friends invite me. It’s something to do. I justify my contribution to the casino by telling myself that it is still less than I would’ve spent on a night out at a bar or restaurant or if I went away for the weekend. Like most patrons, on particularly bad visits, I try to order enough free drinks to compensate my losses or at least try to.
The phone began to buzz again. I was outbid on another item. Quickly I placed another bid but was out bid again. This is when something sinister began to take over — it was as if I was possessed by a Grinchlike presence that I did not know existed. I bid on the item again and kept bidding though I didn’t even want the item anymore. I was bidding on the item again and again with the sole intention of driving up the price for the person who dared to out bid me.
As the night went on, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I was outbid for another set of beads. I glared at my smartphone. I was pissed and in my mind this was war—bidding war. My heart beat faster. I was teetering on the edge of safety. One bid too many and I was stuck with an overpriced piece of junk that I did not even want. This reminded me of the playing the slots. When I was doing bad, I often said to myself, well, I’ll give it one more try and then bet again. After doing this God knows how many times on God knows how many trips to the casino, I eventually noticed a a pattern- that every time I found my self saying I’ll give it one more try, the end result was the same: I’d lose.
The next morning I was awoken by a buzzing on the phone. I’d been outbid on a set of crystals, half asleep, I bid on the item again. It wasn’t until I completely awoke that I’d realized what I’d done- that I’d bid on something in my sleep- thank God I did not win that auction.
I needed to stop bidding in my sleep. I needed to stop bidding on stuff I didn’t really want. I needed Ebay Anonymous.
Filed under Fun
Last night, I volunteered at the animal shelter. I always loved animals but started volunteering around the time I began attending rape counseling. Those memories had long been suppressed and by the time I finally got around to speaking to someone about them, I was in bad shape. I was definitely suffering from some sort of PTSD and was terrified of people as well as the most benign circumstances. In counseling, I talked about being date raped. I felt better after talking to someone and being validated. You see, I blamed myself for being raped, because I willingly entered the situation: I went over my “friends” house to watch the Superbowl and have a few beers. That was twelve Superbowls ago. A night that started off fun ended with a lot of memory loss, inability to determine sequence of events, physical pain, and then a loss of said friends -but not before an inquisition from said friends in which they slyly tried to determine what I remembered of the night, if anything at all.
For the next decade I did what I wanted to do fearlessly. I did not worry about consequences. I did not care. It wasn’t until after rape counseling that I developed a new and unsightly complex. Though I expected the counseling to make things better it did and it didn’t. Though I now felt validated, receiving formal counseling and talking about what happened opened up a can of worms. After going on a date or hanging out with a man alone, I would go home and scrutinize the night’s events, piecing them together again and again worrying to myself about whether or not something happened. The basis for this fear was a fear that during the date, I had some sort of memory loss, though I was fully conscious and sober the entire time. I would agree with most people, that this is pretty nutty, however, the fear was very real and debilitating. Once the anxiety began it took off like a speeding train. It could go on and on for hours and sometimes days. God bless the people around me who patiently listened to me and reassured me that it was unlikely that anything happened, and reassured me that I would remember it.
Filed under Animal Rights, Domestic Violence, Healing, Sexual Assault
If you’ve been following my blog, you must know about my longstanding aversion to Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness. The fact that I was forced to read Heart of Darkness over ten times and write even more papers about it— gives the book’s title more meaning and as the author, make’s Conrad’s inspiration for the title pretty obvious to me. If I made a list entitled “Hayley Rose’s Least-Favorite-Most-Hated Literature of All Time,” though Heart of Darkness would surely dominate it, I can say with assurance that it would have company, ahem, Ethan Frome.
Here is an article written by another writer about my book, I Know Why They Call a Shell a Shell. His name is Stan Horzepa. You might’ve seen him around this blog a few times. You should definitely check it out! In the article he mentions that even without a Kindle you can download and read my Ebook. He links a site that allows you to download a free Kindle app for your phones, tablets, Ereaders, and/ or computers and a Kindle Cloud Reader that allows you to read the book on your browser. Here is that link. It’s a very informative piece.
In other news about my book, there is one 5 star review by writer Linda Seccaspina on the Shell’s Amazon page. Her review states:
“For anyone out there that has no idea about the history of this author; she has done so much in so little time. Hayley has been writing about her life and other things she feels that we show know about on the beloved Huffington Post. You have to be very special to write on that venue and this book also showcases her great words. Some might not be easy to digest in the book as sometimes we do not like to face the truths that are out there these days. This is a book that every woman AND man should read and I have a feeling this is not the first we will see from Hayley. Hayley, you have done us all proud! Brava!”
That’s a great review!
Finally, for those of you who are not yet into the whole Ebook revolution, a physical paperback copy shall be available for purchase shortly. I’ll keep you posted.
Filed under Uncategorized
