All Things Healing published my article “How to Stay Forever Young.” If you haven’t yet read it and want to check it out, follow the link below!
http://www.allthingshealing.com/Psychospiritual/How-to-Stay-Forever-Young/9592
How to Stay Young Forever
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Repeat Relationships: What Story Do You Keep Retelling?
Warning: When Participating in Relationships You Run the Risk of Getting Hurt
That’s what they say- if you don’t want to get hurt, lock yourself in your boudoir or something. When I was younger, the more someone warned me not to go out with a person, the more I wanted to go out with them and to prove the other person wrong. I thought I was Cinderella when her evil step mother locked her in the basement to keep her from meeting the prince. I thought maybe they were trying to keep me away from the guy because they were jealous and wanted him for themselves. Nope. They were worried, and they had reasons.
I heard a wise man talking about the way we repeat the same patterns over and over again in our lives; the same scenario but with new people every time. It is the same, he said, as when a small child wants you to read them the same story over and over again. I can’t stop thinking about this. It is a significant statement, but I don’t know why. It may be the key to me breaking jerk-dating pattern. I remember when I was a child I would want to read the same story over and over again or watch the same movie over and over again. Each time was equally if not more satisfying than the first. It never got boring. Why?
Filed under Fairy Tales, relationships
Ass Clowns Are Forever
I will never understand why some people end up marrying the first people they date and why people like me can date a million men and have all of them turn out the same- never finding one guy that ends up being decent. After the first handful of weddings of friends and relatives that were so limited in gene pool that in most states it would be illegal to marry the majority of the people in the room- weddings when you sometimes end up having to dance with your cousins (of the same sex even!) it started to wear on you. Especially when you become older then the bride. That really sucks. But you had to go because somebody’s got to be there to miss the bouquet!
I have missed the bouquet several times and for several reason. Many a wedding I drank too much and happened to be in the bathroom when it was thrown. Aw shucks on the first time that happened (as my cousin had it rigged and was gonna throw it right to me!). Then there was the time my friend’s thrice-divorced aunt stood right in front of me at the last minute and ended up catching it. There is no way I would’ve missed if it wasn’t for her Walmart-loving tank ass. Sorry. I’m still a little miffed about that one.
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Taking Self-Esteem Classes at Age 26
I like myself. There I said it. However, my domestic violence counselor sent me to “self esteem classes.” My counselor keeps insisting that I need them. At first I thought she might be on to something. I have been acting pretty insecure lately. I was dating a guy who has consistently blown me off (like twice in one week). I think that is a reason to be insecure. Here I was thinking he liked me. Would you blow off someone you liked? Even if he was legitimately busy it still sucked being blown off by someone you were looking forward to seeing.
Filed under Growth, Healing, relationships, Uncategorized
Playing Dress-Up in Greenwich, Connecticut
*** This is an excerpt from my book about failed relationships coming out at the end of the year!
I remember when I was in elementary school one of my friends told me that when she was on vacation in Disney World if someone asked where she was from and she told them she was from Connecticut, they immediately assumed she was rich. I was perplexed. She had an in-ground pool but certainly didn’t live in a gated community. Our families were predominately from Waterbury, Connecticut, a remnant of the long-gone industrial era.
I discovered when I went to an out of state college that what she said was true, that when you tell people you are from Connecticut they assume you live in a neighborhood on par with one of the most affluent ones in Greenwich. Years ago I had never been to Greenwich and wondered what this place was like. The richest town in the entire country would surely be something to see. I imagined that I would be pegged an outsider from the second my 2001 Kia Sportage crossed over the city limits. I was very wrong.
I got a job working for a holistic beauty company and had to go to various health food retailers. Now I had to drive down towards the Gold Coast for work at least once a month. My first experience there was good and it really hasn’t changed since I began working in that area.
One day I answered an ad on Craigslist. They needed bartenders and servers. I sent them my resume and a picture and was hired immediately and asked to come down the next day. Not only would I be bartending in Greenwich, but on a yacht! I would be lying if I told you I was excited. No, I reacted as I usually do when something really great and exciting happens in my life: I was terrified! I had never answered an ad on Craigslist before and feared it wasn’t legit. A yacht? Really? As usual, I pictured worst-cases-scenarios in my head; the yacht taking off with me and other unsuspecting young “bartenders” on it, carrying us out to sea awaiting some sort of mass-auction, our introduction into sexual slavery. Yes I know, I don’t deny that I’m a little crazy. I lived on the Mexican border for a year and never ventured south for the same reason. It’s funny, how someone who has lived to tell the tale of so many risky and dangerous events can be so scared and cautious. I would wager that it is because I lived to tell the tale of so many risky and dangerous events!
Filed under Dating, Destiny, Fairy Tales, Traveling
Announcements
Hi Everyone. I have been MIA this week because of the major Northeast power outage. We just got power back a few days ago- and some people still don’t have power! I will be writing this week as usual- I just wanted to apologize for my unplanned absence.
In other news, I have a book coming out around the holidays! (and another one coming out early next year)
My book that is coming out this year is a piece of creative non-fiction about my failed relationships- it will be a fun one to read, I promise!
Next years piece is about my time on the road in the great US of A!
Okay, well thanks for checking in, and Hayley’s Comments will be back to normal schedule beginning tomorrow!
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Are You Hiding Inside an Abusive Relationship? On HuffPost
Sometimes when we don’t trust ourselves, we feel very insecure about stepping out into the world to live life. I know I was afraid to go out and be my own person because of the abuse and rape I experienced at a young age. I feared that I, again, wouldn’t be able to protect myself if put in a compromising situation. As a result, I entered into an abusive relationship and subsequently continued this pattern for years. I was attracted to these types of relationships because, on a subconscious level, the aspect of control imposed limits that made me feel “protected” when everything around me felt very out of control. Alone, I felt vulnerable; like I could become a victim again at any time.
Like a textbook abusive relationship, the imposed limitations ended up including a list of things he didn’t want me to do, people he didn’t want me see, and places he didn’t want me to go. Somewhere in my psyche I knew this and permitted it to happen because I felt more insecure out of the relationship than I did in it. Ironically, I ended up existing in this cocoon for several years instead of navigating the world on my own.
Read the rest of the article after the jump.
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What’s New This Week on The Veggie Stand
Meet Ginger, this week’s Rescue Animal of the Week!
And don’t forget to enter your pet because they could be our next Rescue Animal of the Week!
You can also check out (and possibly take) PETA’s pledge to keep animals safe this winter!
Also, if you need a snack, I posted my recipe for “Really Really Good Trail Mix.”
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Following Your Dreams is Truly Divine Work
Flowers Hayley Rose 2009
Often, the most difficult thing in life is being true to yourself. By the time your cognitive development is over you have been bombarded with millions of different ideas; ideas that have shaped your personality by telling you not only what you should be doing but who you should be. Many of these messages come from the people who brought us up, friends and relatives, however; the media and culture play undeniable roles in our world view. From the time you are ready to begin life as an adult you are often in a headspace so far away from your true self that you can no longer identify your passion or dreams. Then life gets you. Responsibilities and bills imperative for survival come to the forefront and things like following your innermost dreams seem like something silly, something you tell yourself you will have time to do later.
It is never too late to follow your dreams, sometimes you just have to do a little back peddling. Your truest self is the self that remains when you stop letting the opinions of others penetrate your mind. The only way you will ever reach your true is by not caring about what others think, and stepping forward with courage. It does not matter what others think, following your dream is divine work; it is between you and God. Continue reading
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No Such Thing as Love Like in the Movies?
I have been told there is no love like in the movies. I disagree. For example, this weekend I went with my boyfriend to his family’s cabin in Vermont just over the border of Western Mass. It was a beautiful weekend, the fall leaves cascaded from the oaks and maples like delicate Chantilly drapery. Saturday afternoon, we road our mountain bikes to a summit where we had a picnic. It was perfect, he’s so sweet, he even brought my favorite, lavender champagne! To be honest, most of the weekend, we were cut off from the rest of the world holed up in the cabin’s foyer under its vaulted ceilings. It was so cozy by the roaring fireplace. The heat lit the room like a grenade in a fox hole.