by | August 23, 2011 · 2:26 pm

Is Honesty Really the Best Policy?

Well it all depends what you are trying to accomplish. If you are looking to forge meaningful friendships and relationships than yes, it is. If you prefer to dodge real connections and fear vulnerability, then no it isn’t. Let me explain.

When you are honest it is very easy for you to spot dishonesty. On the contrary, when you are dishonest, the lines become blurred and it’s more difficult to spot lies. Since I began writing and sharing some of the most painful and humiliating memories, many people have contacted me to thank me for expressing what they could not say. Don’t you sometimes find that when you leave yourself open and vulnerable and say what is truly on your mind, those around you nod in agreement?

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by | August 22, 2011 · 5:16 am

Confessions of A Vegetarian: Carnivorous Cravings

Please check out my newest article on The Veggie Stand, “Confessions of A Vegetarian: Carnivorous Cravings.” 

Last week I wanted a filet mignon. The next day it was salmon. I don’t think us vegetarians are suppose to say this out loud (especially those of us who are vegetarians for ethical reasons). Aren’t we suppose to be so married to the cause -the principles of ethical vegetarianism- that we wouldn’t dare admit to missing steak? Well not really… Maybe an outsider would expect that from us, but those of us who are active veggies know that we sometimes get cravings for meat or fish and that sometimes it can be borderline unbearable.

Most of the time abstaining from meat isn’t much of a struggle. However, since becoming a vegetarian eating has become more of a chore than ever. My meals have become more elaborate and take more planning that when I was an omnivore and could just grill up some chicken, throw it into a salad, and call it dinner. Though food is still a very big part of my life, my feelings for it have changed since committing to my vegetarian lifestyle.

Before becoming a vegetarian, I was a very different person. When I traveled, food and beer were as exciting and pleasurable as the atmosphere of the destination itself. For me, overindulgence almost always went hand in hand with vacation. In this I am not alone, as many people give weight to the sampling of ethnic or regional food and drinks when traveling. Some people travel for the food and drinks alone!

Follow the link to The Veggie Stand to read the rest of the article

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by | August 21, 2011 · 12:39 pm

Forgiving My Rapist- Now on The Huffington Post

Good Afternoon Everyone!

If you haven’t yet read my article “Forgiving My Rapist,” please check it out at The Huffington Post. The article is not just about finding the strength to forgive one of the people who messed up my life but more so about the courage and strength it takes to stop blaming and forgive yourself. This is an article that anyone can relate to- rape victims or not.

Forgiving My Rapist

I received a tweet from a reader in regards to my article“Confronting My Rapist.”

The tweet states,

“I read your article about facing your rapist. You are a better woman than me, I couldn’t have acted so politely and diligently.”

I found the tweet to be extremely thought-provoking. Though I responded to my rapist with expletives and warnings to never bother me again, it was through email and not in person. By the sound of my reader’s tweet, when faced with the same scenario, she might’ve kicked the guy’s butt (or at least cussed him out). This thought made me smile, I can’t say I don’t blame her.

When it comes to my situation, I never really thought about vengeance. I was too caught up in hurting myself and messing up my own life because of the unbearable pain. Thinking about it now, it might feel good to go to his home, smash the windows of his car, and break everything he owns, but would that solve anything? If I destroyed all his belongings he would still be more reparable than how he left me.

Finish Reading the Article here 🙂

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by | August 18, 2011 · 11:58 am

How to Stay Forever Young Now on Huff Post

If you haven’t checked out my article, “How to Stay Forever Young,” make sure you stop by The Huffington Post!

In our culture youth is coveted like never before — 50 is the new 30, they say. I often get mistaken for being a lot younger than I actually am. People sometimes even think I’m only 18, which is a great compliment, but they’re wrong! I want to talk about how I’ve accomplished this “agelessness.”

Like a lot of people, I’ve had a lot of really shitty stuff happen to me throughout my life, and there was a point where I promised myself that I would try to make the best of my life and stay young forever.

It wasn’t just about looks, though a good moisturizer does help. It was about attitude. Regardless of what happened to me, there are a few things I’ve consistently done to keep myself forever young.

  1. Never Bring Anyone Down. People are shocked when they find out about my past because they cannot fathom how I am such a positive person after what happened to me. There are many reasons why I am so positive. When I went through the difficult times I was in so much pain that I never wanted to make anyone else feel as bad as I did, so no matter what I was always positive and supportive of those around me. I don’t believe in bringing people down just because you’re in a bad mood.
  2. Give Yourself the Freedom to Do Whatever You Want. When things really weren’t going my way, I had to do whatever it took to make myself somewhat happy. So I did whatever I wanted: shopping, trips, working out, eating chocolate, whatever I wanted that was within my means at the time. And I remember there was a time where I only had300 in cash to my name and no job prospects. I was around 20 at the time and had just broken up with this guy. One night, for the heck of it, I took off and drove to Woods Hole, Massachusetts and took the ferry to Martha’s Vineyard, where I stayed for the day. When I got home I only had about200 left, but I didn’t care, there was always more money to be made.

Read the rest here.

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by | · 12:47 am

Scars

1. One small candle holder that says Sanda and Dean’s Jack and Jill

 2. A picture frame from Nick and Beth’s Wedding

3. A small black guitar pick.

4. A chip on one of my front teeth.

5. A small scar above my left eye

The items I could throw out, I didn’t, and the scars on my person are reminders I’ll never be able to get rid of.

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by | August 17, 2011 · 8:26 am

The Lump in My Throat

I have been writing pretty irregularly this week because I’ve been going to a lot of doctor’s appointments. One of my concerns happens to be a lump in my throat. Every time I swallow I can feel it. I told the doctor a little bit about when I started to notice it.

Around the time I broke up with the guy who almost killed me, I began having trouble breathing. It would only happen when I was driving alone in my car and when there was nothing in the car for me to drink. At first my throat would become dry and I’d begin to choke.Then I wouldn’t be able to breath. I’d begin to panic, and inevitably my breathing would come back, except for one time, where no matter what I did I could not breath. I became terrified and gasped for air as I choked on nothing.

A friend pointed out that it was interesting that I was having panic attacks in which I was unable to breath because when my ex-boyfriend almost killed, it was through suffocation.

I ran into a friend yesterday, a cancer survivor. Talking about her illness and surviving stage three cancer, she spoke these poignant words, “You just never think it is going to happen to you.” This is how I felt about almost being murdered by my ex-boyfriend and ending up in a domestic violence situation in general. Like an unexpected diagnosis, no one ever thinks it will happen to them.

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by | August 15, 2011 · 7:11 am

Recipe

In Tucson, the avocados are less than a dollar each and much larger than the ones they sell back East, in Connecticut, where I’m from. In New England they charge over three dollars a piece for these puny little shriveled up things. Upon holding one of these so-called avocados in your hand, you will see that it has the texture and appearance of large peach pit. These avocados do not even come close to the firm fresh quality of the avocados sold in Arizona. Avocados are climacentric, therefore commercial growers must pick them off the trees early in order to allow enough travel time for them to make it back East before rotting. This practice also attributes to the stunted, unripened quality obtained from these almost foreign fruits from afar.

When I lived in Tucson I found the most delicious avocados everywhere, even at the local Safeway. I utilized their luscious green flesh to make the most tantalizing guacamole. The recipe is simple. It calls for three avocados, the juice from two limes, a large tomato, a small red onion, and a pinch of kosher salt. I would fill a huge Tupper Ware container with the mixture and eat only guacamole for the following two to three days,depending. I always long for it, but making it the right way is actually a very expensive and complicated four-part recipe.

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by | August 14, 2011 · 12:49 pm

Harassing the Vegetarian

Check out my new post on The Veggie Stand: “Harassing the Vegetarian.”

Since becoming a vegetarian I find that many non-vegetarians are offended by my very ethical standpoint. Though I have never rubbed my ideologies or explained to them why I find the slaughtering of animals for food offensive, they still find something about me intimidating. The very idea of my vegetarianism has offended a handful of people within my friends and family circles. But why?

None of the offended people have ever had the intentions of becoming a vegetarian nor the slightest interest in vegetarianism, so why does my choice to be one offend them? I have had people make fun of me and tease me. Okay well that might just be playful… I have also had people describe in detail the gutting of a deer and how delicious the meat tasted. Now that was meant to annoy me. Most recently I had someone send me a Youtube video of a person chasing a wild turkey into a busy street. Why? Why do they send me such videos? I promptly wrote back- you do know that I LIKE animals don’t you? They haven’t answered me yet.

You can finish reading it here. 

 

 

 

 

 

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by | August 12, 2011 · 9:00 am

Embrace Your Failures

I remember a while back when one of my friends broke up with his girlfriend. He was really upset. At the time I had just broke up with some one as well. I told him to think about how he was feeling -right at that moment- and to embrace all the pain, because that is what it is to be human. I told him to think about how human he felt at that moment and acknowledge those negative emotions. Feeling the feelings and consciously processing them would inevitably allow him to move past them rather than if he ignored them or refused to face them.

Once we have surrendered ourself to acceptance of failure- that there is no getting (or getting back) what we want, all we are left with is feelings of pain and disappointment. This is what many self-help writers refer to as “growing pains.” During our biggest disappointments and our most painful moments we are provided with unlimited potential for the growth and strengthening of our spirit. On the other hand, some people view failure and pain as the only lens through which we would be able to appreciate the good things in our life; that we wouldn’t appreciate the good if we didn’t have the bad.

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by | August 11, 2011 · 8:23 am

How to Stay Forever Young

 It’s my mom’s birthday today- so I want to start the morning by saying

 HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!!

In our culture youth is coveted like never before- 50 is the new 30 they say…

 I often get mistaken for being a lot younger than I actually am…people sometimes even think I’m only 18…Which is a great compliment but they’re wrong! I want to talk about how I’ve accomplished this agelessness… Like a lot of people, I had a lot of really shitty stuff happen to me throughout my life- and there was a point where I promised myself that I would try to make the best of my life and stay young forever….

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