by | July 11, 2012 · 12:01 pm

Is Nancy Grace a Bully?

Tuesday, a woman featured on Nancy Grace committed suicide. Nicknamed the “Vodka Mom” by Nancy, Toni Medrano drank a bottle of vodka and accidentally passed out on her newborn child. When she awoke the child was dead. Nancy Grace gave her the title “Vodka Mom” on national television then called for her head insisting this negligent mother be charged with murder.

Obviously the mother was negligent but it doesn’t sound so much like murder as it does manslaughter. Yesterday, the Vodka Mom, possibly even more distraught with the attention from Nancy Grace, committed suicide by dowsing herself with flammable fluid and lighting herself on fire. Is this just a coincidence- that Grace called her out on TV and then she killed herself- or did Grace’s words have some influence on this act? Was this just an outlier?

An outlier is something that isn’t statistically predicted to happen- something that might happen once. However, this is not the first time a woman featured on Nancy Grace killed herself. Melinda Duckett, a young mother of a missing boy, was bullied by Grace during an interview when Grace made the accusation that Duckett was hiding something. Duckett shot herself the following day right before the show was scheduled to air. The woman’s family sued Grace for wrongful death and Grace settled out of court.

What is Grace’s true intention? To help solve crimes committed against innocent children? Or to be the talking head with a biggest mouth and the highest ratings? Or is she just a bully? What do you think?herself. Melinda Duckett, a young mother of a missing boy, was bullied by Grace during an interview when Grace made the accusation that Duckett was hiding something. Duckett shot herself the following day right before the show was scheduled to air. The woman’s family sued Grace for wrongful death and Grace settled out of court.

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by | July 9, 2012 · 2:13 pm

Is This Legalized Rape?

As the War on Women rages on, the idiocy of it continues to expand exponentially, take for example last month when two congresswomen were banned from saying the word “vagina.” Add that to the fact that more states continue to ban or attempt to ban abortion and contraception, too.

It’s kind of ironic, the fact that so many of these lawmakers are trying to force themselves into the vaginas of American women everywhere, because in this country, women get to choose who they do and do not let into their vaginas. Even women who might be considered promiscuous by society’s standards, women who let lots of people into their vaginas, still made the choice to do so. There is a word for when someone forces themselves into a woman’s vagina without her permission and that word is rape.

If you read my blog you know a little about my background. I am a survivor of sexual assault. In fact, one in six women in the US are part of this demographic. For these women, who were at one time victims of rape, there was obviously at least one event in their lives in which they did not have that choice; the choice to say “yes” or “no.”

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by | July 3, 2012 · 1:16 pm

Confusing News Day

It’s a confusing news day for me. For one, I didn’t know Andy Griffith was still alive and two, I thought everyone knew Anderson Cooper was gay…

Andy Griffith, a show before my time. Way before my time. May he rest in peace.

 

As for Anderson Cooper, I am pretty sure I heard that somewhere and on more than one occasion. It’s unfortunate that some media commentators have accused him of using this admission as a publicity stunt. One of those commentators is the infamous Star Jones. Maybe she feels he used this as a publicity stunt because she is someone who uses them frequently. I will never forget the months leading up to her failed marriage, in which she used The View as a stage to pander for free everything for the ceremony.

As far as Anderson is concerned, I think that it is good that he is speaking publicly about being gay. I do not think it is a publicity stunt. Anderson has always come off as genuine. He spends a lot of time doing segments on bullying and its sparked a lot of positive awareness and concern for the children being harassed across the country. It is no doubt that people and kids who are closeted might borrow some courage from Cooper and eventually be who they were born to be rather than living a lie shamed into the closet by close-minded members of our society.

Those stories confused me, but this story just all out baffles me and brings me back to 1998. Jackie and Kelso are back together?! It is rumored that ex-co-stars from That 70’s Show Ashton Kutchner and Mila Kunis are dating. I have to say, he was my least favorite character on the show and it seems that every other movie or show he appears on he plays the same character (himself!).

And of course the Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes divorce saga marches on. If you have not checked it out, read my article Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes Split: Is Scientology to Blame?

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by | June 30, 2012 · 11:44 am

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes Split: Is Scientology to Blame?

After five years of marriage, Katie Holmes plans to divorce Tom Cruise and she’s seeking sole custody of their daughter Suri, 5. Columnists speculate that Holmes’, 33, motivation for leaving Cruise, 49, revolves around Cruise’s involvement in The Church of Scientology and the Church’s influence on their five-year old daughter. But one has to wonder the reason for this concern.

Scientology was established by L. Ron Hubbard in 1952. Though it is referred to as a “church,” many prefer to think of Scientology as a cult. L. Ron Hubbard, a famous writer of science fiction novels, did not set out to found a church. Its development began with his authoring of Dianetics, a metaphysical literature based on the theory that negative human experiences and emotional scars, or engrams as he called them, were responsible for physical symptoms and illness.

With Dianetics Hubbard proposed a type of emotional cleansing, or audit, through which the emotional wounds of the subject were revisited and erased thus restoring the subject to a state of Clear. Once achieving a state of Clear, the individual faces challenges with a newly acquired demeanor of calm in which he or she reacts reasonably to situations that would’ve formerly provoked an emotional response. Thus theorizing, through achievement of this state, a Clear individual is in control of their thoughts and is able to think rationally.

Hubbard initially made a lot of money off of this type of “auditing” and his auditing courses. However, after a failed public demonstration of the promises of Dianetics, Hubbard lost public interest and received criticism. Now experiencing financial difficulties, Hubbard had to think of a new plan quickly.

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by | June 27, 2012 · 2:23 am

Kisses in Parking Lots

A nice dinner and a little walk primes my pump for a kiss.  When you meet someone on the internet you already know quite a bit about them and you like them.  So the face to face meeting is a little different from meeting for the first time and kissing.  I have had four kisses in parking lots this past year and they were all very good and led to absolutely nothing.

Joe looked like a great prospect because he reminded me of my old boyfriend. We had Mexican Food and talked about his service in Vietnam.  He knew things.  His job was intense now and he was still part of an operational team that was focused and severe except now he was selling commercial kitchen fixtures.  I liked his bravery and as we walked around the block I told him he was lucky to have survived.

“I just know how to run fast.”  That is what I liked to hear.  He wasn’t out to do anyone harm while he sidestepped thru the puddles and over the curbs nicely.  We held hands and I felt safe with him as the evening drew to a close and he walked me back to my truck.  When we kissed it was strong and satisfying.  I touched him and he invited me back to his place.  It was very tempting.  He lived just a few blocks away.  But I zoomed off in my truck and never saw him again.  I was glad I hadn’t slept with him and never heard from him. Apparently he was one of those fellows who is just too busy being part of a team to see the value of one little lady’s attention.

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by | June 19, 2012 · 11:11 am

My Interview with Artist Young Sam Kim

I recently interviewed artist Young Sam Kim on his new series “A World in the City.” For the series, the artist used “hyper-collage,” a technique in which various pieces of digital photography are layered and superimposed upon one another. Through the use of this technique, Kim seemingly created a world of his own; a multidimensional space in which each time you view one of his pieces, you notice something you did not see the first time.

When observing a work of art, the mind naturally tends to piece a narrative together, not only from the associations it brings to the work, but from the work itself (as it inevitably does while viewing Kim’s artwork). After my interview with Kim I realized that even the the most creative mind’s conjecture could not breach the depth of Kim’s commentary of “A World in the City.” And through a little knowledge of the artist himself, the layers of his work deepen to a whole other dimension: Kim is hearing and vocally impaired. Continue reading →

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by | June 18, 2012 · 9:00 am

Lonely in Cyberspace

I inhabit a virtual universe called Second Life where you create a very life-like avatar, own land, create art, go to concerts, meet people from all over the world and have love affairs.  I have been on the site since 2006.  I feel like I really do have a Second Life. What’s strange is I can feel just as lonely in Second Life as I do in my First Life.  Tonight when I came home I missed my deceased boyfriend, looked at my bleak email and facebook lists and then went on the website Second Life and had the same feelings.


My boyfriend and I used to each have avatars in Second Life.  His avatar had marijuana wings and Jamaican dreadlock hair.  He never really had the imagination to play as much as I do in Second Life, but we had some fun times together there and he met some of my friends there.  He even met one of my boyfriends from Second Life in real life when he came to San Diego in his plane and we met him for lunch at the little airport near our house.  My boyfriend used to be a pilot too.

The connections in cyberspace can make life feel less lonely too. It enables me to live alone and be creative and still have contact with other people in a quiet non intrusive way.  People in real life tend to me messy and loud.  It is nice to have friends in the computer who are there when you need them and quiet when you don’t.

The emotional attachments to other people’s avatars can be very real and intense.  Meeting someone at a bar in Second Life or through online friends is just as exhilarating there as it is in real life.  The sexual attraction to someone can be instantaneous or build over time.  There is any kind of sensual pleasure you can imagine in Second Life. Some people choose to have avatars who are beautiful tigers that lay around in a pack and talk to each other, snooze and preen.  I know lairs of dragons and clubs of Shemales. In Second Life there is an adult section, a teen part and a general part, but when I joined in 2006 everything was blended together.

Back in 2006, when I started, casinos were legal in Second Life and so many people were at those sites they would crash the sims.  There are still plenty of game areas and there are simulated warrior battles too. There is a strong vampire community in Second Life and many Gorean based groups.  The Steampunkers are an imaginative bunch and I love to play with the mermaids and explore their underwater sites.

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by | June 7, 2012 · 11:28 am

The Boxer

 March 20, 2011
“I am just a poor boy but my story’s seldom told, I have squandered my resistance for a pocket full of mumbles such are promises”

I am writing because I have failed again at something that just a few days ago I viewed as important. For the last two years I have tried my hand at so any different things, all bohemian. These endeavors have brought me little success and even less money. So why do I keep trying when every door I open is violently slammed in my face?

“Asking only workman’s wages I come looking for a job, but I get no offers,”

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by | June 6, 2012 · 11:14 pm

Sleeping with Love

“I can’t sleep with a woman I don’t love.”  So that might mean that he falls in love with lots of women or not many at all.  It might mean that he really wants to make a life with you or just that he knows how to write love poems and songs to make you think it is love, but when times get tough he disappears.

The younger generation is experimenting with sex as physical exercise.  I have had lovers with no connection to love who know how to make the whole experience a glow for my body.  I like love making with no strings attached if the partner is gentle and knows what he is doing and goes home before he starts snoring and hogging the covers.

Some people want a love that lasts forever and yet that is impossible.  One way or another you are going to lose the person you love.  Unless you believe in life after death and the ability of love to survive even that final loss, we are all alone.   So when I found someone who turned me on I was glad when I experienced that release.  They are all gone now and I am alone.  Do I love myself?

Falling in love is wonderful energy.  Giving yourself to another person and opening like a flower under their touch is addicting.  I think of the birds pursuing each other thru the trees and getting that brief moment of high energy when they come together.  The female bird finally stops struggling and trying to flee.  The male bird brings his gift in and releases it into the womb so that a new life can be born.  Some go their separate ways and some build a nest together and raise their babies.  Some mate for life.

Building a bond with another person is bondage.  You both lose some of who you are, but take the pleasure that comes after surrender.  When you have a partner who knows how to please you and you know how to please them, that bond is like steel.  If you can keep the passion alive and build your nest you have a chance at prolonging love.  But if you can’t build the nest don’t despair.  There is love all around us at any moment and sleeping with a person you love is always possible. I purposely used the term “sleeping with” in that sentence instead of “having sex.”   When you find someone you enjoy being in bed with and wake up in the morning with you have truly found a treasure.

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by | · 10:12 pm

Won’t you love my crazy?

I think it’s pretty indisputable that Britney Spears has a few mental issues. It doesn’t get in the way of relationships as the star is almost on her third marriage. Well… maybe it does get in the way of relationships, but it doesn’t keep men from pursuing her. Do not attribute it to her being rich or pretty. When I worked in the school system, one of the other teachers told me about a woman she tutored at a local community college. The woman has multiple personalities, and she put stress on the world multiple. As I listened to the story, I couldn’t help but wonder how, with my one personality, I was still single, while the woman with multiple ones was happily married. Not trying to sound judgmental, I seriously began to wonder what exactly was wrong with me… She went on to describe the gamut of emotional issues this woman had and all the things her husband dealt with. He was very patient, she said.

After breaking up with my last boyfriend and a year of online dating on and off I put up one last profile in which I declared  that I was “Looking for a miracle.” I certainly got some interesting responses. One guy sent me a message that read, “Miracle huh? Are you really that bad?” This made me laugh but at the same time made me wonder… Was I?

It’s safe to say everybody has issues and there I was back on the couch with a new domestic violence counselor. It was extremely humbling this time around, because when I surveyed her bookshelf,  I recognized the names of many acquaintances from the writing world… But there I was, again. And why?

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