If you haven’t already, please check out my article, “Are You Your Own Worst Critic?”
Many of us consider ourselves to be our own worst critics and I used to think so, too. I was always so hard on myself to the point of perfectionism. Then one day I began to see things differently. I started to realize that other people’s opinions of me and what they thought I should be doing were so imbedded into my mind that their expectations became stronger than my own wants and needs. I inevitably realized that the self criticism that tortured my mind for years was not in response to my voice. In actuality, it was self-criticism and self-punishment for not living up to expectations of others. Slowly I began to eliminate their opinions.
If you have felt this type of guilt and thought this way, the truth is, you’re not really disappointing anyone through your actions. These people are only disappointed in you (when your actions differ from their vision of what you should be doing) because they are losing control of you. These are not friends, nor are they people you should be taking advice from.
Think back to the things you always beat yourself up over. Do you beat yourself up over failures that caused you disappointment or are you being hard on yourself for not living up to other people’s desires for who you are and who you should be? I guarantee that the majority of failures and things you hold against yourself belong to the latter category.
Read the rest at The Huffington Post feel free to share and comment!!
No, I’m Not a Crazy Cat Lady Who Writes Romance Novels
Gymboree’s discretion last week continues to offend me. If you haven’t heard about it, some moms were in an uproar because the children’s outfitter sold a variety of Onesies in which “Smart like Daddy,” was written on the boy’s version and “Pretty like Mommy” on the girl’s. An article about the Onesies on Salon mentions some of the backlash this controversy created citing one writer’s words, “if we get hysterical over every perceived slight, we won’t get anywhere. Choose your battle, ladies.” The article on the onesies goes on to include a commenter’s response to that statement, “These moms obviously have nothing better to do.”
These moms have nothing better to do? I’ve seen what moms do and they are usually very busy people. I’m sure they have plenty of better things to do than continue to fight this uphill battle in which every step women in the US take in the direction of equality (outnumbering male enrollment in universities, even) are thrown backwards a few steps by petty, yet offensive distractions like this type of children’s-wear. I do not fault the mothers across the US who spoke out, for not wanting their daughters to grow up in a country that continues to force women into the role of sex-object at increasingly younger and younger ages. Is being valued for our intelligence too much for a woman to ask for?
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Tagged as gender inequality, gender roles, Gender Stereotypes, gymboree onesies, salon, sexism, sexist comments, The Huffington Post, wage inequality